


Broken Heart

by theIronStark3000



Series: Obi-Wan Kenobi Whump Collective [2]
Category: Star Wars Legends: Jedi Apprentice Series - Jude Watson & Dave Wolverton, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Ahsoka Tano Needs a Hug, CC-2224 | Cody Needs a Hug, F/M, Heart Attacks, Hurt Obi-Wan Kenobi, Korkie is a Kenobi, Master & Padawan Relationship(s), Medical Procedures, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Obi-Wan Kenobi is a Mess, Post-Episode: s04e15 Deception, Protective Anakin Skywalker, Trauma, Whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:06:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 24,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25867141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theIronStark3000/pseuds/theIronStark3000
Summary: Obi-Wan Kenobi Has A Heart Attack.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Satine Kryze
Series: Obi-Wan Kenobi Whump Collective [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1889335
Comments: 90
Kudos: 195





	1. Chapter 1

Ever since they left Naboo, Obi-Wan had felt increasingly more awful. He chalked it up to the combination of Zigoola and the Rako Hardeen missions. It wasn't like he got much rest or recovery now a days. Not while there was a war raging, and the Order needed their General to lead. His men need him strong. Nothing a good night sleep, a hot meal, and shower can't fix. He'll pull himself back together again, Obi-Wan Kenobi always does. 

He took aspirin, noting his body aches. Obi-Wan felt the headache building at the base of his neck. Everything ached with a dull radiating pain, his neck, shoulders and face. The Jedi Master could still feel the ghost pressure of the collar that once was around his neck.  
  


He knew he still had healing burns, cuts and wounds. He ignored the nausea, and pain, thinking he was probably just dehydrated. The General took a shower washing away weeks of grim and filth. After a quick wash, Obi-Wan tended to his injuries, bandaging then and applying bacta. He dressed and prepared to meet Cody for dinner.   
  


They still weren’t on speaking terms. Cody was still upset. Understandably so. He wasn’t expecting a warm welcome anyways. Obi-Wan grimaced, it likely cost him his relationships with the people he cares for. The men have been hesitant to welcome him back too. Though, Obi-Wan senses their relief and concern among the overwhelming flood of hurt feelings. Yeah, Obi-Wan doesn't know if he can ever forgive himself. _Cody. Satine. Anakin. Ahsoka._ If they never spoke to him again, he could totally understand. He hates himself for ever agreeing to pretending to die.   
  


Obi-Wan greeted his Commander with a polite, “Hello, Cody.”

”General. Permission to speak freely, Sir?”

”Granted.”

”You look awful, Sir.”

”Ah. It’s been a rough few weeks.”, Obi-Wan clears his throat. His hand rests on his chest. Sweat is gathering around his clothes, and despite their short walk to the refectory he’s drenched. _"I don't feel well._ ", Obi-Wan thinks to himself.   
  


“Let’s get some food in you. After, I’ll drag you to the medbay myself, if I have to.”, Cody joked. 

”Understood.”, Obi-Wan nodded.   
  


Obi-Wan watches as the refractory hall quiet. He feels the weigh of the men’s stares on him. The General waves them off, “At ease, men.”

Obi-Wan gasps in pain, again clutching at his chest. He stands patiently in line with Cody. The nausea roils in his gut again, he takes a deep breath trying to quell it. He makes small talk with Cody, working their way through the line. He smiles at the mess crew and accepts his tray, thanking them quietly. Obi-Wan feels the pain more urgently, it’s getting harder to breath. He stops in the middle of the refectory, hands shaking.   
  


The Jedi Master thanks the Force he makes it to the table, and sits his tray down. Obi-Wan feels the bile rising in his throat and swallows it. He can’t _breath_ , he scratches desperately at his chest. The pain doubles him offer as his lungs painfully protest. It feels like an a _kriffing_ elephant sat on his chest.   
  


Obi-Wan collapses loudly against the duracrete floor. His vision blurs, his head feels like it’s underwater. He vomits, expelling what little food and water he had his stomach. Everything is too loud. The Jedi Master squeezes his eyes shut. Someone is holding him, shouting orders and calling for a medic. Cody, probably, the tired General thinks to himself. “Poor Cody, he really shouldn’t have to deal with this.” It’s the last conscious thought Obi-Wan has before his vision blacks out.

* * *

The General doesn’t have much awareness of his surroundings. His limp body is placed on a holo stretcher. Cody holds his hand tightly, never leaving his side. He knows how much Obi-Wan hates the medbay. Kenobi's personal healer, Doc took over ordering his assistant to start an IV, place oxygen and run diagnostic scans.   
  


Doc uses a pair of scissors to cut away the General's tunic. He applies the heart monitor on the man's chest, and pulse ox on his finger.

"What's wrong, General?", Doc asked, taking a look at the man's dilated pupils. He notes the General's limited awareness of his environment, and confusion.

"Hard to breath. Chest pain. Nausea. Vomiting. Headache. Body aches.", Obi-Wan wheezed. 

  
"Did you take anything when your pain started?"

"Aspirin." 

The medical team works to stabilize the General running an EGK and performing a physical exam. Doc frowns at the various injuries, bruises and cuts, all at different stages of healing.

He knew the General avoided the Medbay like the plague. The Clone had a sinking suspicion no one had looked over him since Kadavo, Zigoola, or the Rako Hardeen affair. The blood tests confirmed what Doc feared, a heart attack. 

"Cody, I need you let go.", Doc said gently resting a hand on his Commander's shoulder. 

"I-I don't want to leave him.", Cody hesitated, emotion creeped into his voice. 

"We need to take him to the OR.", Doc sympathized.

He knew they'd see a spike in the General's anxiety when Cody left. He already administered the anti-anxiety meda in the General's IV to hopefully make separating them less traumatic. It's not a secret Obi-Wan has medical related trauma, part of why he staunchly avoids medical intervention.

If he hadn't collapsed in the refectory, he probably would've died alone in his quarters. Doc knows the aspirin the Jedi Master took might've saved his life. 

"What's wrong with him?" 

" A heart attack. I may need to place a stent or cath. I won't know until I get the proper images." 

"Please keep me updated." 

"Of course. I recommend you contact Rex, General Skywalker, and Commander Tano. They should be here." 

Cody swallows, he wants to fall apart, but he can't let anyone see him. They barely got their beloved General back, and now he's fighting for his life. Cody isn't a praying man, but he pleads with the Force, " _Bring him back to us._ " The Commander thinks about how devastated they all where when they thought Obi-Wan had died.

Panic seizes his entire body, tears prick at his eyes. The Commander swallows thickly and comms Rex with a calm, steady voice. He'll be strong for his _Generals_ , for his _vod_. There will be time to freak out later when he's alone.


	2. Chapter 2

It was several hours before Doc had an update. He mildly sedated the General to place a small, thin catheter through a blood vessel in Obi-Wan’s groin. The cath was thread through the blood vessel into the aorta and heart. Obi-Wan was sleepy, but still conscious. They didn’t have to put him under general. It’s a minimally invasive procedure. Obi-Wan did find the procedure, unpleasant and felt pressure in his nether regions. 

While Obi-Wan was cathed, Doc ran a series of tests to determine his heart function and heath. He found no coronary artery obstruction, yet ballooning and blood flow abnormalities in the left ventricle of the General’s heart. Stress hormones can have toxic effects on the heart muscle and cardiac blood vessels. Finding no signs of disease or blockages,Doc suspected the General experienced stress related cardiomyopathy.  
  


Stress related cardiomyopathy can increase cardiac events thrice as much in a relatively healthy patient. Though, Doc notes the General is incredibly dehydrated, malnutrition and exhausted. Obi-Wan reports a sore throat from his voice emulator, lingering discomfort from the Slave collar (likely psychosomatic), and an uptick in migraines since Zigoola. Doc suspected the General would need continued cardio monitoring, beta blockers, and a heart attack recovery plan.

He would feel much better having an the expert opinion of a cardiologist. For now, Doc would monitor his patient and keep him stable for the journey to the Temple Healing Halls. All Doc could do medically is to administer an ACE inhibitor, beta blocker and anticoagulant. Obi-Wan would need supportive medical care until his left ventricular function improved.   
  
  


Tiredly, Doc oversaw the General’s transfer to a private recovery room. He needed to lay flat for the next six hours. The site of the catheterization was prone to bleeding. It would be critical to observe his surgical site for the next few days. Once satisfied, Obi-Wan had received adequate pain relief, fluids, and begun IV nutrients, Doc left him. His patient was sleeping comfortably with an ice pack on his groin.

God, this is way beyond his pay grade, Doc thinks to himself. The General needs a few weeks at the Temple, a follow up with the cardiologist and a mind healer more than anything. The medic wonders if the Council will even take his medical report seriously. They would be getting an earful from Doc. Doc made a mental note to pass along his concerns to Master Che at the Temple. 

Doc pauses observing from the small window separating the medic from the waiting room and the surgical recovery wing. Cody looks tired, the medic thinks to himself, as the Commander sits in a squat against the wall. He's holding his head in his hands. General Skywalker is fidgeting, unable to sit still, he's taken to pacing. 

Commander Tano, gods, she's awfully young. Doc notes a hallow, haunted look in her eyes. Not even a week ago, Ahsoka had held her dying Grandmaster in her arms. Rex tries to coax his General and Tano into eating something. Good, Doc thinks they'll need their strength for the days ahead. 

He steadies himself and pushes the door open, everyone jumps and all eyes are him. Doc feels their anxiety and concern, they wouldn't be alone there. Both the 212th and 501st had heard about the General collapsing in the refectory. Hell, Doc has been at General Kenobi's side all evening, and even he's worried.

He knows General Kenobi will likely evade his recommendations and god knows the Council won't likely force him to rest. His patient has a tendency of running himself ragged util his body finally gives out. 

"General Skywalker, Sir.", Doc meets his watery, tired eyes.

"How is he?", Anakin's voice cracks. 

"Kenobi needs rest, continued monitoring, and a referral to cardiology. But he's stable, and we can talk about the surgical recovery guidelines later." 

"When can we see him?", Ahsoka asks tiredly.   
  
  


“In the morning. You all need your rest. Don’t come back unless you’ve slept, ate, and showered. I don’t need another patient.”, Doc chided.

  
“Understood.”

"If you stress my patient out, I will remove you. He needs rest, reassurance, and care.”

* * *

Blessedly, Obi-Wan slept until morning with no incident. Doc checked on him first thing in the morning, making sure his pain was well managed before making his morning rounds on the ward.   
  


Obi-Wan was still sleeping when Anakin and Ahsoka arrived, a sign of how little sleep he’d gotten lately. The Padawan-Knight duo sat at his beside. Anakin quietly fiddled with a small project, while Ahsoka worked on homework. She read to Obi-Wan, holding his hand. Listening to his steady vitals brought them both much needed reassurance.   
  
  


“ ‘Soka?”, Obi-Wan asked softly, peaking his eyes open. He put his IV free hand over his eyes, not sure about the sunshine in his face.   
  


“Master!”, Ahsoka smiled, squeezing his hand gently.   
  


”What happened?”, Obi-Wan asked quietly.   
  


“You had a heart attack.”

“Oh.", Obi-Wan wasn't sure what to think. His anxiety spiked, that's terrifying. 

  
Anakin helps adjust Obi-Wan’s bed into a reclined, seating position. He places a pillow under his Master’s back, “You must be thirsty.”

”Thank you.”, Obi-Wan accepts the straw between his teeth, taking a few sips of water.   
  


“How are you feeling?”

”Like I got ran over by a speeder.”   
  


“You know, Master, if you wanted us to talk to you again, I recommend a less dramatic course of action than almost dying _again_.”, Anakin teased.

"I’ll keep that in mind for next time.”

”Seriously, Obi-Wan, if you ever scare me like that again, I’ll kill you myself.”

”Understood.”

Anakin lets Obi-Wan wake up, and helps him with his breakfast tray. Obi-Wan picks at this food, managing to eat his fruit, a couple spoonfuls of eggs and a bite of toast. He wishes his Master would eat more, but doesn't push him.  
  


“The nurse wants you up, and walking.”, Anakin said gently.   
  


”Ugh.”

“Scoot to the edge of the bed, and we’ll work together.”

  
It’s incredibly unpleasant. Obi-Wan grunts, scooting to the edge of the bed and planting both feed on the cold floor. Anakin wraps an arm around him, they walk slowly to the refresher. Ahsoka mans the IV pole, oxygen tank, and portable heart monitor. They both wait outside the door while Obi-Wan does his business. The Jedi Master grimaces at the sight of his swollen lower body. He relieves himself, and carefully rearranged his soft leggings around the bandaged surgical site. The Jedi Master washes his hands, and gently limps back to the door. Anakin encourages him to sit, helping him with his socks and soft house shoes.

"I'm so sorry.", Obi-Wan said quietly, catching Anakin by the wrist.

"For?", Anakin asked, unsure. 

" I never shouldn't agreed to the Rako Hardeen mission."

"Obi-Wan, are you sure we should talk about this now?"

"In case anything else happens, I need you to know I'm am deeply sorry for the distress I put you and Ahsoka through. You deserve a better Master than I.", he bowed his head in apology. 

"Can I ask you something?", Anakin asked hesitantly. 

"Always." 

"Were you distressed when I yelled at you?" 

"Yes."

"Did I cause this?", Anakin avoided meeting Obi-Wan's eyes. 

"Of course not, Anakin."

Anakin hugged Obi-Wan tightly, his master wrapped an arm around him. Obi-Wan pressed a kiss against Anakin's forehead, he laughs when Ahsoka joins them for a group hug. Anakin and Ahsoka help him walk his morning lap around the hall. The duo keeps things pretty light for Obi-Wan’s sake. There are thing they can talk about further when he’s healthy again. The walk takes a lot out of Obi-Wan. He comes back to his room and crashes. While he sleeps, Anakin and Ahsoka remain at his side.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan has big feeling post Heart-Attack. *screeches* Can someone give that   
> man a hug?! Please.

The first 3-5 days of heart attack recovery are most critical. Obi-Wan was doing quite well, eating several small meals and going for brief walks. He no longer needed supplemental oxygen, but continued to wear a portal heart monitor. It was a little scary to see him continue to have chest pain. Doc kept a very close eye on his cardiac health. The General would need long term health care to screen and prevent further cardiac events. 

Obi-Wan really should've known something was up. It was far too quiet in the Medbay. The three day journey to Coruscant was far too peaceful. Anakin and Ahsoka came by often to sit with him, sometimes even Rex and Cody did too. Ahsoka liked to read to Obi-Wan, and work on papers. She often liked seeking his advice about papers she was writing.Despite the war, it was very important for the Padawan to continue her education. She missed mediating and sparing with him. It made Obi-Wan smile to know his Padawan enjoyed spending time with him.

Anakin came too, with whatever project he was tinkering with, or paperwork. He dreaded writing reports, Anakin knew if he slacked on them, then Obi-Wan tended to pick up the slack. Not wanting to place undue stress on his Master, he worked on their reports. He usually came for lunch, mediation, or a walk, offering to oversee Obi-Wan's short ventures from his hospital bed.

Most of the time, Obi-Wan was to be in bed, resting, that man did not need any additional stress. He slept most of the time. Doc put him a communication blackout, forbid paperwork, his data pad, and comm link. He was to be on strict, supervised bed rest. Thankfully, he was too tired to put up much of a fight. Obi-Wan was content to knit, read, and sleep. He tried to mediate when he felt up to it. Mostly, he just slept as much as he could. 

Cody came to work on paperwork, sometimes, they'd sit together and talk about something other than the kriffing war. Other times, they were just quiet and Obi-Wan wasn't the General, he was just Ben. Just Ben and Cody, Cody thinks in another life they could've been friends. They'd talk in Mando', and laugh. Obi-Wan had a great laugh, the Commander wish he'd love more often.

  
Rex and Obi-Wan ever since Kadavo, Zigoola, they've had a wordless way of communicating. They just sat together, talking in their own secret language of subtle glances, hand signals and nonverbal communication. They usually talked about what to do about Anakin. Gods, it takes a village to raise that boy, Obi-Wan is thankful for their little village. Rex wanted desperately to ream Obi-Wan out for his mismanagement of his health among other things, the Rako Hardeen mission on the top of his list. Perhaps another time when Obi-Wan isn't on the brink of death for the nth time since the war began. 

Cody officially convened the _Kriff the Council, Protect Obi-Wan Kenobi Squad_. They even had a text group now. There were a medical report send to the Council, and Doc was very firm. He had called Master Che himself. Word had spread about Kenboi's heart attack like wildfire among the 212th and 501st. Despite Obi-Wan's complaints, the Council knew.Several Council members had called leaving messages of care and concern. Even Satine had called, blast Anakin must've told her, because Obi-Wan had no intention of worry anyone about his broken heart. In the evenings, Cody screened Obi-Wan’s callings and allowed how to listen to messages that contained well wishes for his health.

* * *

When they arrived on Courscant, Obi-Wan was immediately taken by holo stretcher to Master Vokara Che. He still was feeling quite a bit of discomfort where the catch was thread through his femoral artery and groin. It was a little overwhelming, and if Obi-Wan was honest, a total blur. Everything happened so quickly, and he was taken from his men, from his Padawans, his medical team.  
  


Despite his protests, he was given a complete physical and visit with the traveling cardiologist. They ran a stress test, EKG, and cardiogram. Obi-Wan did not enjoy undergoing more testing.Overall, the cardiologist agreed with Doc's assessment and assigned a cardio rehab program. Obi-Wan was not allowed to carry more than five pounds. They recommend he eat six small meals a day, encouraged walking, adequate hydration and lots of rest. His heart needed him to maintain health habits.   
  


No sex, katas, or unsupervised moderate exercise for at least several weeks. He was given a heart friendly diet. Master Che scheduled a follow-up with a mind healer and prescribed an anti-depressant after detecting Obi-Wan’s uptick of emotional distress. His brain felt foggy, Obi-wan wasn't sure he would be able to remember all the guidelines. He wished Anakin or Cody were here. They always knew to ask for things to be written down and repeated a second time. 

Obi-Wan was given a change of clothes: a clean sleep tunic, leggings and a cream cardigan from his quarters. Master Che herself make sure he got a shower and tucked him in with a beloved knit blanket from Kenobi’s quarters. He felt like a whole new man after a shower. Master Che carefully examined his surgical site, noticing it was irritated and bruised. She applied bacta and an ice pack once he was back in bed. 

The General felt exhausted from the poking and prodding. His shields were incredibly drained. And if he was honest, Obi-Wan felt a little anxious about having another heart attack. He can't remember a time when he was so deeply concerned with his own health. He did not want to die. He knew how painful it was to be torn away from your Master too soon, to feel them dying in your arms. Gods, Obi-Wan was _afraid._ Jedi Masters weren't supposed to be afraid of death. _There is no death, there is the Force._ Somehow, that did not bring Obi-Wan any comfort. He missed Qui-Gon fiercely, even all these years later. Obi-Wan wanted his Master to be here at his side. 

He was struck by an onslaught of memories of those early days. He isn't sure what jarred lose the memories of Qui-Gon's death, perhaps seeing one's own funeral, and the affect it has the people you love does that. Obi-Wan Kenobi lives by a simple truth, he would've died that day on Naboo if it meant Qui-Gon lived. He had been so consumed by his own anger and rage. Rarely had Obi-Wan felt so consumed by jealousy, anger, rejection, and mourning. He wanted to kill Maul with a killing blow, the dark sang to him, tempting him.

He did not fall that day on Naboo. But perhaps done something just as grievous, he closed his heart to Anakin. He took a Padawan on a promise to a dying man, a boy Qui-Gon eagerly sought to replace him with. Their partnership had always been a delicate dance. Obi-Wan still struggles to share his affection and inner most thoughts. There are so many things he would like to tell Anakin and Ahsoka, but Obi-Wan isn't sure how. It's an irony that teases him, he always had a gift for words, a master at debate, storytelling, commanding, and leading. Yet in his own personal life, he struggles to find the right words. 

It occurred to Obi-Wan how his heart attack might affect other people. It must be very scary for the 212th, his Padawans and friends. They attended his funeral a little over a week ago, that’s kriffing terrifying. Even a few weeks of risk won’t undone the long term affects of his elevated blood pressure, chronic fatigue and high functioning anxiety. He could have another heart attack. His heart raced and breathing quickened. He clawed at his chest, struggling to breath. It took Obi-Wan a moment to realize he was having a panic attack, not a heart attack. He curled up his knees to be chest, and wept.   
  


“Gods, what have I done?”, he sobbed. Obi-Wan was terrified. He didn’t want to die. He had seen how deeply it affected his Padawans.

They haven’t said anything to him, but he knows Anakin has been angry and Ahsoka continues to have nightmares of holding her dying Grand Master. Anakin had a shroud of darkness around him, like part of him was lost when he found out Obi-Wan was gone.Obi-Wan _knew_ better than to take the Rako Hardeen assignment. He wasn’t much older than Anakin when he held Qui-Gon in his arms as he died on Naboo. 

Obi-Wan didn’t realize Master Yoda was standing in the doorway. Within an instant, he crossed the room and climbed beside Kenobi. Master Yoda gently placed his hand on Obi-Wan’s back, rubbing gentle circles.  
  


“Oh, Young one. Remember to breath, you must.”, Master Yoda encouraged, with the same gentleness, and affection he regarded all younglings. 

Master Yoda began an ancient four part breath prayer all young Jedi learned in the Crèche. The young Jedi Master didn’t realize it, but his body remembered how to follow.The ancient Jedi Master knows Kenobi has grown into a capable warrior, an honorable man, and a wise Jedi Master. But Yoda will always be reminded of the curious, compassionate, fierce and polite ginger six year old Kenobi once was, the boy with endless questions.

Yoda patiently breathes with Kenobi until his sobs subside and his breaths even.   
  


“T-Thank you, _Master_.”

  
“Troubled you are, young one.”

" _Yes_." Obi-Wan does not deny it. 

"Shoulder it together, we could.", Master Yoda takes his hand gently. 

"You won't like what I have to say." 

Master Yoda does not dignify Obi-Wan's comment with words, and wacks his leg gently with the gimer stick. _Ouch_.

"Understood, _Master_." _Little green twerp._

Master Yoda smiles, knowingly. Obi-Wan resists the urge to roll his eyes. 

"Troubled what has you?" 

"I-I think I mistepped, Master. I never should've agreed to the Rako Hardeen assignment." 

"Upheld your commitment to duty, you did." 

"Whose duty, sir? Certainty not to my own self nor the best interest of my padawans or battalion."

"You acted on the orders of the Council and Senate."

"To be frank, Master Yoda, I have having serious doubt about the Order's entanglement with the GRA and Senate affairs." 

"Dangerous thinking, young one." 

"Anakin said something to me, _How do you know you even have the whole truth_?", Obi-Wan's entire body shuddered. 

How do you tell someone you've been having a vision regarding the very extinction of the Jedi Order? No one had ever taken Obi-Wan's bad feelings seriously before. Qui-Gon certainly had discouraged Obi-Wan's gifts in the Unifying and Cosmic Force. Master Yoda found the young Jedi Master had incredibly shielding, even as exhausted and ill as he must have felt. He couldn't read him. It was unsettling the way Obi-Wan could ward his mind and project nothing but tranquility and peace. How long had Obi-Wan not been okay? Master Yoda began to feel deeply troubled about their treatment of Obi-Wan Kenobi. 

"Mediate on this we will, once you are well.", Master Yoda declared with a finality, electing not to dismiss the concern in Obi-Wan's voice. If Kenobi feels something is not right, Yoda is not going to turn him away. Not again, not after this young one had landed himself in the Healing Halls because of stress related cardiomyopathy. An intense emotional distress induced Obi-Wan's recent heart attack, and Master Yoda has a feeling there is more to the story. 

Obi-Wan bows his head respectfully, "Yes, Master."

Yoda presses a kiss against the young Master's forehead, granting him a rare display of affection, "Rest you have earned, young one." 

Master Yoda had grown to love Kenobi at different ages and ages. He had such a deep reverence and care for the man before he. But he will always see him as the child within him that grew to be the _Teacher. Poet. Warrior. Orator_. The Grand Master knows what he must do. He will seek out Master Koon, and they will mediate together. He watches Kenobi close his tired, heavy eyes. 

_Failed that boy, we did. Ask much of the young Jedi Master we do. Break his spirit, we did.,_ Yoda thinks. 

He is struck by how young, Obi-Wan looks swallowed in the large hospital bed. Yoda studies him, the gauntness in Kenobi's cheeks, the dark, heavy bags under his eyes, the sadness those blue soulful eyes carried. _An Infinite Sadness_ , the Force muses, whispering in Yoda's ear. Master Yoda's heart aches, wanting to do right by this young man. The shoulders of Obi-Wan Kenobi bare the weight of the war, it takes and takes, destroying him everyday. Master Yoda is reminded this young wan has fought two wars, seen war, death, violence and loss. Will there even be anything left of Obi-Wan Kenobi when the damned war ends?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had originally planned for this fic to be much shorter. However, I'd like to explore Obi-Wan's interactions with various characters. Are there any character interactions you'd like to see?


	4. Chapter 4

Obi-Wan made it four full days in the Healing Halls before he evaded Master Che. He observed shift change, taking notes on when the Padawan healers got of morning shift for the afternoon one.   
  


He pulled on his sweater and a pair of house shoes. The Jedi Master removed his IV line and vital leads, silencing the monitors expertly.   
  


With the portable heart monitor’s bag hung over his shoulder, Obi-Wan creeped down the hall. He successful snuck out of his rooms and into the Room of a Thousand Fountain. He wanted a moment to himself. 

Obi-Wan was tired of being poked and prodded. Every few hours, there were people in his room for round the clock meals, attention and medicine. Council members, friends, and colleagues came by. He just wanted to be left alone.

  
He naturally gravitated towards the tree planted in Qui-Gon’s honor. Obi-Wan settled in a modified half lotus position, and took a centering breath. For the first in week, he felt like he could breath deep enough to fall into a healing, meditative state. 

  
He closed his eyes, and leaned into the warm, loving embrace of the Force. The Force cradled him tenderly like a mother holding her newborn infant. The Force sang to him. 

  
The entire Temple scrambled to find Obi-Wan Kenobi. It came as no surprise to Mace Windu they found him in the Room of a Thousand Fountains.   
  


“Kenobi.”, Mace chided.   
  


“Let him be.”, Master Koon shrugged, electing join Obi-Wan, maintaining his distance but letting the Jedi Master know they were there.   
  


“He ought to be in the Halls.”

“Mace, when was the last time you saw him at rest?”   
  


“We already had one funeral for Obi-Wan Kenobi last week. I refuse to do a second one.”, Windu grumbles joining Plo.

”Shhh. Give him his moment of peace and quiet.”

  
It was nearly two hours before Obi-Wan’s trance broke. He moved his limbs gingerly as his body ached in protest. He wasn’t twenty anymore, that’s for sure. 

* * *

“Welcome back, Obi-Wan.”

”Master Plo.”, Obi-Wan greeted with a polite smile.   
  


“Would you like to make a visit to Dex’s?”, Master PLO asked, already knowing the answer.

“Please. I would enjoy that. 

”Master Windu, be a dear and inform Master Che we will be taking Kenobi lunch.”

Windu grumbles, “Kenobi, if you so much as sneeze, I will drag you back to the Halls. Understood?”

”Understood, Master Windu.”  
  


Master Plo escorted Obi-Wan to his quarters to retrieve his boots and cloak. Kenobi was definitely not supposed to be leaving Temple Grounds nor eating greasy hamburgers. Master Plo thought the 37 year old needed a break.   
  


Obi-Wan even compromised, using the dreaded hover chair to save his energy. He was just glad to be out of his tiny hospital room. The sunshine and mediation did him good, he seemed such happier.   
  


They caught the hover bus to Dex’s. Obi-Wan closed just eyes listening to the noise of people around him. The Jedi trio strolled into Dex’s gathering the attention of the other patrons. Dexter shoed then away, granting Obi-Wan privacy. Obi-Wan took his place in his usual booth.

Dexter greeted Obi-Wan with a big bone crushing hug. He teared up, “I was devastated. Obi-Wan, don’t you ever scare us like that again.”

”Oh, Dex. I will _be_ okay.”, Obi-Wan held him.   
  


“You look like death. How’s the ticker?”

”Still having irregular arrhythmias, unfortunately.”, Obi-Wan quietly worried about needing a pacemaker. It would render him no longer field active.   
  
  


“Take care of yourself. Obi-Wan, we need you.”

”Everything will be fine.” _Without me. The Order doesn’t need me. The war doesn’t need me. My padawans don’t need me._ Obi-Wan did not realize he was projecting, Masters Koon and Windu shared a concerned look.

Dex’s eyes were sad, “Oh, no, dear. The world is better place with you in it.“

”T-thank you, Dex. I’m not sure many people feel that way after last week.” Again, Masters Koon and Mace shared a look. The Council didn’t consider how the Rako Hardeen mission would strain Obi-Wan’s relationships. 

“Come here, let’s get you fed okay?”, Dex gently squeezed Obi-Wan’s shoulder. Dexter had half a mind to take Obi-Wan Kenobi and run across the galaxy to somewhere the war can’t reach them.

  
  
It was not lost on Dex how skinny, Obi-Wan had gotten. He had lost at least ten pounds since he was last here. And he wasn’t a very big man to begin with

The gauntness of his cheeks. The dark, heavy bags under his eyes. The lingering troubled look in his eyes. Dex knew that familiar, hallowed thousand yard stare all too well.  
  


Obi-Wan was quiet during lunch. He did offer an occasional sarcastic remark, or smile at Dex’s jokes. He ate every bit of his hamburger, fries and chocolate shake. Dex even sent him back the Temple with an extra meal. He did not seem nearly as tense as he had previously.  
  


Being out of the Halls did him some good, he did offer Dex a sincere smile for the extra burger. It was the first time Masters Koon and Windu had seen a sincere, smile tug at his lips   
  


The young Jedi Master slept in his hover chair on the bus ride back to the Temple. Masters Koon and Windu quietly discussed his behavior through their Force connection.

Master Koon himself took Obi-Wan back to the Healing Halls. Master Che did not look amused. She had half a mind to ream Obi-Wan out.

”Kenobi.”

”Hello there.”

”Get yourself in bed before I drag you there myself, _General_.”

”Yes, _Master_.”, Obi-Wan replied with equal force.

”Master Che, a word.”, Master Plo said. 

”What were you thinking, Plo?”

”He needed a break, Che. Kenobi ate a full meal. He mediated and he saw a friend. It was good for him.”

“Burgers, fries, shakes and unauthorized visits outside of the Temple are not part of the Cardiac recovery program.”   
  


“I understand. We won’t make it a regular thing. Just look at him.”   
  


Obi-Wan was fast asleep, the moment his head hit the pillow he was out. He was still. His vitals steady, and breathing without supplemental oxygen. The man was too tired to dream.   
  


“He’s asleep. It usually takes him longer to fall asleep.”, Master Che sighed, not wanting to encourage Plo. 

“”I asked myself, “What would Qui-Gon Jinn do?”, Master Koon gave her a shit eating grin that rived Master Yoda’s. 

“I swear, you’re all incorrigible. ”, Master Che shakes her head.

  
  
Obi-Wan slept. And yes, he did eat left overs for dinner much to Master Che’s distaste. As much as Master Che did not want to admit it, the day spent outside the Temple did the young Jedi Master much good. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 1 of 2 
> 
> I elected to spilt this chapter in 2 parts. Enjoy. 😉

Obi-Wan felt the latest visit with the cardiologist was disappointing. Dr. Baize prepared him for the possibility of placing a pace maker. Managing his condition with medication was definitely an option. However, if the medication cannot provide adequate management of symptoms he may need to explore other options. Despite close monitoring, and medication, Obi-Wan continued to have arrhythmias.

He had a particularly nasty episode and needed supplemental oxygen. The left ventricle of Obi-Wan’s heart had not continued to improve. He was still having irregular heartbeats. Medication hadn’t entirely eliminated the cardiac strain. They had only been trying the medicate for a week and half. Dr. Baize advocated a few more weeks of medication, and a follow up. Obi-Wan tried very hard to follow the intense cycle of medication, diet, exercise and prescribed rest.

However, Dr. Baize suspected even with the cardiac rehab program, Obi-Wan's condition would get progressively worse. Whether that occur in a forte night or over several years, Dr. Baize did not know.The strains of chronic stress, high blood pressure, cardiomyopathy and emotional anguish were likely going to have life long ramifications on Kenobi's health. It was difficult news to process and accept.

It wasn’t ideal news. Obi-Wan dreaded the idea of not being able to accompany Anakin and Ahsoka on the battle field. He nearly launched himself into another panic attack at the idea of being separated from the 212th. He didn’t want to be stuck at the temple teaching younglings. He wanted to help raise his Padawan leaner, teach katas and travel with Ahsoka.

At 37 years old, the Jedi Master simply was not ready to retire. Obi-Wan was a wonderer, his soul was meant to travel and explore the galaxy. There were things he wanted to do.

The Council reassured him not to worry, they would discuss his options later. His job was to get better while Master Windu oversaw the 212th in his absence. They shipped out with the 501st. He had seen Cody and Rex, even given a reassuring talk via Holo to the men.

He was working on getting better and hoped to rejoin them soon.Obi-Wan was thankfully Anakin and Ahsoka weren’t here. He didn’t have to deal with their questions and concerns. They shipped out yesterday, and he missed them greatly. But hoped having an assignment would keep their minds of worrying about their old Master.   
  
  


Obi-Wan stopped eating, too anxious about surgery to have much appetite. Much to his protest, they placed an NG tube in his nose and supplemented meals with formula when he did have the energy to eat. It was either that or TPN through an IV. At least, he has range of motion with the NG tube. His mind healer, Jaa Tane had noted his increased irritability and mood swings, not unusual so soon after a heart attack. 

Obi-Wan had even developed a nervous tick, he bounced his left knee when he was anxious. It was very much not likely him to be filled with nervous energy and fidgety. While Kenobi might not mention this to another living soul the sessions were helping, and he found the medication eased much of his emotional anguish. 

Everyone in the temple noticed his change in mood. He was given a wide berth. Even the younglings knew leave him be and be extra quiet when they came across him in the Room of a Thousand Fountains. Master Che had backed off and given him space. No one was pushing him into surgery. He was allowed to roam more with supervision, of course. Despite the risks of being away from the Halls, Che felt it important for his overall health.

Master Che even granted him permission to move back into his quarters, as long as he allowed Jedi Master and Healer, Bant Eerin stay with him. Bant, one of Obi-Wan's oldest friends, knew when to push and when to let go. Surprisingly, Obi-Wan agreed to Master Che's terms.  
  
  


Obi-Wan could visit his quarters, the library, refectory, and the gardens. He was given granted permission to practice gentle katas, bike riding, walking on the treadmill and swimming if the physical therapist accompanied him. Though most days, you’d find him curled up in bed sleeping or sitting in the rocking chair they placed in the atrium for him.

He had so little energy, it took everything within him to comply with daily instructions to eat, walk, dress himself, shower, shave, and rest.

* * *

Bant knew Obi-Wan was in one of his particular moods, a sign of his illness more than anything else. She knew her friend was struggling with weighing his options.

She wouldn't push him to chose a particular path, trusting Dr. Baize and Obi-Wan were more than capable of deciding that for themselves. Bant had been working quietly with Anakin to arrange a surprise, she had a feeling would cheer up her childhood friend. 

Bant walked down the hallways to the beautiful, buttery atrium. As she suspected, Obi-Wan sat in a rocking chair with a light blanket around his lap, wearing his cream sweater and knit socks. His poor circulation meant he was easily cold these days.His eyes were closed, he looked at ease, awfully young to be carried the burden on his shoulders. Bant worried her friend felt responsibility for the well-being of the entire galaxy. 

"Obi, would you take a walk with me?", Bant asked softly. 

"Where are going, Bant?", Obi-Wan was reluctant to move from his cozy spot, it was not often he felt comfortable these days. 

"It's a surprise."

"I dread surprises. Should you even surprise a man in my condition?"

"Hush, Ben, as if I'd lead you into harms way." 

"it would be against your oath."

"Correct."

"You should count your blessings that Quin, Reeft and Garen are not here." 

"If I wanted to chase younglings, I'd go to the Creche." 

Obi-Wan gave her a soft, warm smile. She knew he must be feeling alright if he was teasing her. It was moments like this she saw glances of her childhood friend she longingly, and selfishly missed. It all changed during the early years of his apprenticeship with Qui-Gon.

The strain and anguish had stripped him of the childhood joy, and laughter he once possessed. In many ways, Bant felt those years shaped the very man who stands before her. His medical anxiety, self-destructive behavior, emotional constipation, and low self-esteem all stemmed from his tween years. Each one of the insecurities he faced in childhood were only magnified upon Qui-Gon’s death, and lingered into young adulthood.They mared him with permanently, as of part of Obi-Wan died that day with Qui-Gon.

  
Bant and Obi-Wan walk to the steps of the Temple. He fidgets with a lose string on his pants while they wait. Bant again notes that as a new behavior. It was still hard to wrap her brain around the diagnosis of C-PTSD and depression. Obi-Wan is nervous, visibly so, unlike the confident, infamous Negotiator, the Councilor of the Jedi High Council, General of the 212th. And is such a glorious thing, Bant thinks to herself, let him just be Obi-Wan "Ben" Kenobi. 

Bant squeezes his hand, “You’re going to like this.”

”I really hate surprises.”

”Anakin and I would never led you astray.”

”I know.”

”Relax.”

Obi-Wan watches a familiar blond woman step out of a space taxi and wave. His heart thumped with excitement. His heart monitor alarmed with warning, but he was fine, just excited.   
  


“Satine!”

”Ben.”

Obi-Wan ran down the steps of the Temple, and Bant followed him. “You idiot.”, she laughed under her breath. Obi-Wan met her in the middle of the stairs, and caught her in a hug. He did not care about pressing a kiss against her forehead on the steps of the Temple. He didn't care who saw, he missed Satine so much! Kriff attachment. He's got bigger worries at the moment. 

“I’m so glad to see you, Ben.”, Satine’s voice broke.

It’s overwhelming to see him alive and breathing after going to funeral not even two weeks ago. The Duchess holds Obi-Wan tightly almost afraid to let him go as if this is all a dream. She is afraid it will all be pulled out from under her. If she has it her way, she'd take Obi-Wan and run far, far away from the Jedi Order. She is enraged by the way the Order, the people who should love and care for Kenobi most through him into constant danger. She cannot recall a time when he had the rest and recovery time he needed.

  
“I’m so sorry.”, Obi-Wan apologized. _How do you apologize for the trauma of pretending to be dead for a week?_

”Hush. All that matters is that you are alive.”

”You aren’t mad?”, Obi-Wan whispered. His voice was fragile, like he might just break if she wasn't careful with him.   
  


“Absolutely furious. But you don’t need anyone to yell at you.”   
  


“You don’t know how nice it is to hear that.” Obi-Wan has struggled with the cold shoulder and overwhelming hurt feelings he ran across when he returned from a week of being thought dead. 

Obi-Wan was getting cold, standing outside in the wind. He shivered, fighting the tears that desperately wanted to flood from his eyes. But he refused to break down in such a public space.   
  


“Come on, let’s go inside.”, Satine encouraged.

Obi-Wan extended his arm to Satine, and escorted her to his quarters. As soon as he sat down on the couch, Satine took his hand, and stood between his knees. 

  
“You worried, darling. Let me look at you.”, Satine said gently. It was the third time Obi-Wan heard someone was concerned about his appearance and health.   
  
  


“Okay.”

Satine helped him out of his sweater and tunic to examined his injuries. She frowned at the ugly bruise where the IV had once been. Satine saw the still healing burns, and lingering scars from Zigoola.

She took in his malnourished, pale, sickly form. It broke her heart. She kissed him, “I’m so sorry, darling.”

  
“I-I needed to hear that.”, He swallowed thickly.

He shivered, and not from cold either. Satine helped him with his tunic and sweater. She carefully covered him up with a blanket and took him her arms.   
  


“Let us take care of you.”, Satine whispered kissing him gingerly. Obi-Wan does not fight her. He melts in her warm embrace. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of Satine's visit.
> 
> “This is Obi-Wan Kenobi: A phenomenal pilot who doesn’t like to fly. A devastating warrior who’d rather not fight. A negotiator without peer who frankly prefers to sit alone in a quiet cave and meditate.” - Matthew Woodring Stover, Revenge of the Sith (Star Wars: Novelizations, #3)
> 
> Warnings: Obi-Wan is still coming to terms with the idea of a long term illness. He’s confronting his own internalized ableism.

It was no secret Obi-Wan had feelings for Satine. Bant didn’t even blink an eye about her. There were even whispers among the Council about Obi-Wan’s thing for blonds in government. Whatever. Obi-Wan Kenobi flirts while fights his enemies. Yoda even made an offhand comment about Obi-Wan’s space girlfriend.  
  


Obi-Wan was thrilled to wake up in bed with Satine. Their limbs were tingled together as Satine rested her head on his chest. He was like a floppy, loth cat seeking her warmth. Obi-Wan made a content noise in the back of his throat.   
  


“Good morning.”, Kenobi murmured, nosing against Satine’s neck. He placed a few, tantalizing kisses among her neck, jaw, and ear.   
  


“Don’t start what you can’t finish.”, Satine chided. 

“There are other _ways_ I could be of use.”, Obi-Wan taunted. 

“As tempting as your offer is, I think Bant would disapprove of any strenuous activities.”

“Might be more fun if the monitor went off for a reason other than my heart ceasing to function properly.”

“You’re lucky I love you.”

”And why’s that?”  
  


“You’re an idiot.”, Satine’s voice was warm with affection.   
  


Satine indulged Obi-Wan with a shower instead. Sometimes washing each other in the shower can be just as intimate and caring. After showering and dressing, the couple decided to join Bant for breakfast.

  
The sickly Jedi Master tried to eat his bowl of oatmeal and fruit. He ate about half of the bowl, and almost all of the supplemental shake before him. Kenobi even took his handful of pills without fight. 

Kenobi was content to allow Satine to guide him to the couch. The duchess coaxed him into her arms, holding Obi-Wan as she thread her fingers through his hair. He was so touched starved, he nearly purred like a loth cat.   
  


He closed his eyes, listening to the thrum of her heart. It wasn’t often Obi-Wan felt safe enough to drop his defenses and be held. Satine pressed a kiss to his forehead, “You are safe. You are loved. You can rest, Ben.”  
  


And for one of the few times in life, he listened. Obi-Wan just held himself be held. 

* * *

Obi-Wan was having a rare good day where he felt up to taking a walk. The duchess and General walked hand in hand to the gardens. Being in the sunshine and warmth of the outdoors made Obi-Wan happy. He seemed more at easy.   
  


He was quiet, he often liked to be. There was something about seeking the still, talking a moment to reflect and breath. If it weren’t for the war, Obi-Wan would like nothing more than to be alone and mediate in the quiet of the gardens. He didn’t want to fight.

He didn’t want to debate and negotiate the fate of the galaxy. Today, Obi-Wan Kenobi wanted to just be Ben, a simple man who treasured the love of his life. Even though he knows, Satine will never really be his. She’s always been Mandalore’s just as he belongs to the Order. But for a moment, they can just be the people they usually can’t be.   
  


Obi-Wan was tired. The war drained him. He held dying men in his arms, singing them lullabies he once sang to Anakin. He patched injuries, and sat with mourning soldiers for their brothers. These hands cared for life just as easily as they took life. He had killed, fought in a second bloody, pointless war. Yet he was afraid of walking away from the war.   
  


  
He was afraid to leave the 212th. Obi-Wan Kenobi is their General. And he wants to continue overseeing the battalion‘s care. He had plans for how they’d change things. The men needed to be cared for the way he had been cared for. Obi-Wan was making plans already for his return. 

Satine encouraged him to mediate. She sat on a bench, weaving flowers together for a flower crown while he entered a medative trance. He gave his overwhelming feelings into the Force and returned from his hour long mediation feeling lighter.   
  


“Welcome back, darling.”

”Hi, Satine.” He accepted her assistance in helping him up. Obi-Wan joined her on the bench.   
  


“This is for you, my Duke.”, Satine placed the flower crown in his hair. He gave her a radiant smile, modeling the crown for her. In another life, he would’ve been an excellent husband, diplomat and father, it hurts her to know this.   
  


“Don’t you need a crown, my Duchess?”

”Of course. Want to help me weave another?”

”Sure.”

While they weaved a second crown, Satine decided its time they had a talk.

”Darling, I’m planning on staying on Coruscant for a while and negotiating aid for Mandalore. My advisors don’t feel it is safe for me to remain on planet.”

”Oh. Satine. Have things gotten that much worse?”

”Yes, they have. I will be speaking with the Jedi Council tomorrow.”

”I thought you didn’t want our help.”

”Not at first. I hoped to avoid assistance from the Order and Senate.”  
  


“Should I be worried?”

”It would be futile to tell you not to worry. I know you, _Ben_.”  
  


“I wish the circumstances where different but I’m glad you’re here with me.”

  
“Me too, darling.”

* * *

They sat and enjoyed the sunshine. The pair sang a familiar tune together. Satine had an important question, waiting until the end to ask, knowing it’d steal his peace and quiet.   
  


”I must ask. How is your heart?”

Obi-Wan sighed, “Dr. Baize suggested a pacemaker or a lifetime of medication that may not save me in the event of cardiac distress. He expects my condition to get progressively worse.”  
  


“This troubles you.”, Satine has always been able to read like an open book. 

”Yes. If I have surgery, I am afraid I would no longer be active in the field.”

”I’m so sorry. I’m sure this decision weighs in you.”

”I want to be useful, Satine. How can I serve the Order if am I sick?”

”There is more than just fighting.”

”I don’t want to be Temple bound, stuck tending to babes in the Crèche or teaching younglings.”

“You would be very good at those tasks.”

”I am a formidable warrior, a poet and a orator. I won’t waste my talents being stuck in the Temple like an invalid.”, Obi-Wan shouted, he was angry.

  
Angry is good. It’s an emotion we can work with. He’s grieving, Satine thinks to herself. This is a man who is working through his feelings.   
  


“No one thinks you’re an invalid.”

”What good am I if I’m useless, unwanted and helpless?”   
  


“Darling, look at me. You are sick. You can’t fight this. You can’t outrun this. You can’t talk your way out of it.”

”That’s why this scares me.”, Satine.”, Obi-Wan’s voice breaks.   
  


  
“Oh, Obi-Wan. Do you think less of other Jedi who retired because of illness, and disability?”

There is an entire wing of the Temple dedicated to the care, employment and work of ensuring all Jedi have a place in the Temple and beyond. 

“No. They served the Order faithfully, and it’s our turn to care for them.”

”Why can’t you treat yourself with the same kindness?”

”I’m not ready to retire.”

”I think you know what you need to do, Ben. But you’re afraid.”

”I-I should have the surgery.”

”Trust in the Force, Ben.”

”You sounds like Qui.”, Obi-Wan crinkles his nose.   
  


“There will be purpose for you yet. You’re one of the best and brightest knights in the Order.”

Satine kisses his forehead, letting him lean against her. She laughs when he places the second flower crown they wove together on her head. He’s still trembling with fear, but he takes her hand.  
  
  


“Let’s make a cup of tea.”, Satine suggested.

They walked through the Temple with the flower crowns still in their hair. Satine brews two cups of Jasmine, Qui-Gon’s favorite, a tea Qui himself would’ve made Obi-Wan when he was ill or scared.

Satine lets the quiet, weighty silence sit between them. She takes Obi-Wan’s hand and lets him cry. The dreamer does not soothe the cries of the solider. Tears are not a bad thing. She holds his hand, and waits for when he’s ready to talk. There is little that cannot be soothe with tea.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 1 of 2

Obi-Wan elected to schedule his surgery on a day he knew Satine tied up with diplomacy tasks and his Padawans still in route to the Temple. He did not want be fussed over and to worry anyone. It was minimally invasive surgery, Obi-Wan would be awake for. He wore his softest pair of pants and a hoodie with a zip front, quietly sipping into the Halls of Healing. He met the Senior Padawan who prepared him for surgery.   
  


Obi-Wan was quite anxious about the procedure. He was handed a pair of scrub pants, hospital gown and non-skid socks. He changed and sat back down on the gurney. 

The padawan shushed him, handing him a teddy bear and told him to hold it to his chest, “There you go, Master Kenobi. Make a fist.”

“I hate needles.”

”Close your eyes. Take a deep breath, exhale.”

The kid deserved a promotion if he could talk Kenobi through an IV. The padawan stuck Obi-Wan during his distracted exhale.   
  
  


“Get it over with.”

”Already done, Master.”   
  


“Oh.”

”Keep the bear. You’ll be sore the next few days. Hold the bear against your chest when you cough, breath or laugh. It’ll help not be so uncomfortable in the days following the procedure.”, the Padawan instructed. 

  
Obi-Wan was give a sedative and a drip of anti-anxiety medicine. Once he was relaxed, the Healer brought him back to the OR. He was given fluids, and oxygen. The healer placed the sticky vital leads and a pulse ox.The anesthesiologist administered a local anesthetic. They prepared and cleaned Obi-Wan’s chest and draped him with surgical cloth. He couldn’t see what they were doing. 

  
Once Obi-Wan was pleasantly drowsy and prepped, Dr. Baize arrived. They talked through the entire procedure. Dr. Baize began by making an incision near his shoulder to guide the small wire through the incision and into the vein near Obi-Wan’s collar bone.They used x-rat to guide the wire through Kenobi’s vein to his heart. Dr. Baize attached an electrode to the Jedi Master’s right central, the lower chamber in his heart.

At the other end of the wire, there is a pulse generator that can shock Obi-Wan’s heart as needed. The generator houses a battery and electrical circuits. The generator was implanted under Obi-Wan’s skin near his collarbone. Within two hours, Obi-Wan’s pacemaker was placed and the incision site closed. He was bandaged and sent to recovery rest until the local wore off.   
  


He was given a warmed blanket and pain medicine to keep him comfortable. Obi-Wan closed his eyes. As silly as he felt he looked, Kenobi did squeeze the teddy bear. His chest ached, the tale tell sign of bruising and swelling were to come.   
  


Kenobi only stayed in the post-op bay until he was no longer numb nor needed oxygen. He dressed himself, gingerly minding his surgical wound and stiff arms. Obi-Wan made a smart call forgoing a shirt and using a hoodie instead.Technically, he was supposed to signed out of the post-op bay by his emergency constant. The Jedi Master was expecting to a senior Padawan to oversee the process, not Master Che.

Little did Obi-Wan know the kid told Master Che. TheChief Healer then called Anakin who called Bant and Satine. The Jedi Master had been waiting for the kid to bring his medicine and written post-op. He was pretty proud of himself for getting dressed, and slipped into his house shoes.   
  


“Hello there.”

”Kenobi.”, Master ache chided. 

”So do you come here often?”, Obi-Wan deflected. 

  
  
“You have some explaining to do.”, Anakin crossed his shoulders. He was flanked by Ahsoka, Bant and Satine.   
  


“It was that damn brat who ratted me out wasn’t it?“

  
”Senior Padawan Deng Terren is a fine healer in the making and upheld his professional responsibility to his duties.”, Master Che did not look amused.   
  


“Ah. My complements on his IV skills. It didn’t even hurt!”

”Since you arrived in the Halls of Healing, I’ve made it my personally mission train my staff to be mindful of medical anxiety.”

”Oh. You have my sincere thanks.”

”Why didn’t you tell anyone about your surgery, you idiot!”, Anakin snapped. Underneath the anger and frustration, Obi-Wan saw his concern. Anakin was afraid. He was fragile, worried about losing his Master.   
  


“I-I didn’t want anyone to _worry_.”

”I haven’t been sleeping well ever since the Rako Hardeen incident.”, Anakin’s voice cracked.   
  


“Come here.”, Obi-Wan softened. He carefully, minding his tender chest. He held the stupid teddy bear against the surgical site and Anakin. Anakin was carefully not of press against his Master.   
  


“I-I felt so lost holding Ahsoka as we held your limp, lifeless body in our arms.”

”I am so sorry, dear ones.”, Obi-Wan breathed Anakin’s scent, holding him as tightly as he could. Ahsoka wanted a hug too. He happily accommodated them both.   
  


Obi-Wan held, pressing kisses against their foreheads and whispered apologizes.

Once everyone was calm and grounded, Bant spoke up, “Why don’t we get Obi-Wan home?”

  
Obi-Wan happily leaned into Satine, letting her wrap her arm around him. He put his head on her shoulder, “I am very angry with you, Ben.”, she said calmly, but did not attempt to push away his tactile need of reassurance and support either. 

”I had the surgery. I’m not sorry for doing it on my terms.”

”You’ve got to learn to let us in. We worry about you.”

”I don’t want anyone to worry on my behalf.”

”We love you, Ben. So many people who want to see you well again.”

  
“Tell them to stop loving me then.”

”Impossible.”

Obi-Wan gave her a soft, smile. He was tired, and feeling more post-op discomfort. He needed a nap and his next dose of pain meds. By the time, they walked to his quarters and sat on the couch he was sound asleep. Bant, Satine, Anakin and Ahsoka watched him sleep. Force help them, they’ll need all hands on deck helping Obi-Wan recover. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2
> 
> Obi-Wan and Satine have a big talk.

Obi-Wan slept for several hours, waking up in time for a late lunch. Satine knew she wanted to have a word with Obi-Wan. She sent Bant home, not wanting to overwhelm Obi-Wan. Anakin and Ahsoka parted ways with their Master, returning to their shared quarters. They promised to return for dinner, as they all felt Obi-Wan could use the company. Satine busied herself making a bland lunch of toast, and tomato soup, something light and easy on Obi-wan's stomach.

She blew the hair out of her eyes, frustrated, jaw set, watching him, _Gods he's such a frustrating person to love._ He pushes them all away, never letting anyone get to close. Satine oscillated between angry, and heartbroken. The duchess had known him since they younglings, he had always been so careful not to bled on anyone else, suffocating his feelings and thoughts.

She didn't entirely know why either. There were were things he said, about Qui-Gon, their difficult relationship. She had a sinking feeling her in gut that Obi-Wan's complicated and traumatic adolescent years had a profound affect on his adult behavior. 

"You're doing that thing you do when you're furious with me.", Obi-Wan commented quietly, looking up from his holo novel. 

"I am very disappointed, Ben. Keeping your surgery from me? It's an awfully big secret to keep from someone." Satine’s heart ached, she never told Obi-Wan about Korkie. _Would there ever be a good time?_

"I-I thought it was better to not worry anyone.", he said in a quiet, small voice, like he was unsure. 

  
  


“You can’t just keep shutting me out. We’re partners, and we shouldn’t keep secrets from each other.”  
  
  


“I’m not your concern, Satine.”

“But you are! You’re my everything, Obi-Wan.”

”It’s forbidden.”

  
  


”That hasn’t stopped us yet.”

”It won’t last. You’ll go back to Mandalore, and I’ll return to the war.”, Obi-Wan’s voice wobbled.

”If I asked, would you leave?”, Satine gave him a pointed look. 

”I told you I would.”

”Did you mean it?”

”Are you asking?”

”I don’t know!”, Satine sighed.

”You know I’m right. We can never be together. We don’t work.” Everyone I’ve ever loved will either die or leave me, his brain whispers.   
  


Satine wanted to throttle him. She loved him, but sometimes he was an absolute idiot.   
  


“You’re my husband, Ben. My handsome Knight. My jetti. I can’t lose you.” _The father of my child._ Satine thinks of Korkie, whom Obi-Wan has no idea is his son.   
  


“We were never _officially_ married.”, Obi-Wan countered.   
  


“That’s who you are to me. Marriage ceremony or not.”

  
“We were _children_ who had no business whispering Mando marriage vows.”

  
  
“You’re my soulmate, Ben. I chose you, and I will always chose you.”

”Is that why you want to take care of me? I’m an obligation.”

"No! Darling, I _want_ to care for you.” 

  
  


"Why?”, Obi-Wan’s voice was full of skepticism. His eyebrows were knit together in visible confusion.   
  


“That's what you do when you love someone.”

“ _Oh._ "Obi-Wan still had a hard time grasping that people loved and cared for him.   
  
  


”Where are your post surgical care instructions?”, Satine asked.

”Coffee table.”

”Here take these two pills and drink your water.”, Satine encouraged. She picked up the care instructions and read through the list. She knew when it was time for him to take his medicine.   
  


  
“Would you have wanted to know about my surgery?“

”Yes. I’d like to have held your hand, waited for you, and brought you home myself.”

“I usually took care of my own injuries and illness when I was a Padawan.”

_I didn’t want to burden Qui-Gon. He deserved a better Padawan. I should’ve died on Naboo. Everyone I love will ultimately die or leave._ Obi-Wan’s self destructive thoughts pushed to the front of his mind.  
  


“Why didn’t you tell Qui-Gon?”

”I was afraid he’d send me away again.”

  
  


”What do you mean send you away?”

”No one wanted me as their Padawan. I almost aged out and was on my way to being sent to the AgriService when Qui-Gon decided to adopt, _another pathetic life form_.”

  
“Obi-Wan, why did no one want you as a padawan?”

“I was too angry and unpredictable. No Jedi Master wanted to be my Master. Qui-Gon took me on out if pity.”

  
“Wait, Obi, you said he sent you away more than _once_?”

”I disobeyed him. Master Tahl got hurt. He left me on Melida/Daan. Qui-Gon denounced me, and I joined the Young in the Civil War effort against the Elders.” Teenage Obi-Wan left the Jedi Order. He lost his friend Cerasi. He experienced hunger, suffering, pain, and the horrors war as a thirteen year boy. 

“Oh, Ben. He came back for you right?” A child solider. Abandonment issues. A dysfunctional Padawan-Master relationship. No wonder Obi-Wan struggles with relationships. 

” _Eventually_. It was my fault. I disobeyed him. Satine, I broke my vows to the Order. I left. No wonder, he wanted to wash his hands of me!” 

”Obi-Wan, would you ever leave Ahsoka on a war torn planet?” Satine was gentle, Obi-Wan likely still understood these events from the perspective as his child self, not realizing Qui-Gon had been the adult in charge of the boy. It was not okay to leave behind a child behind in dangerous circumstances. 

”A-absolutely not.”

”It was wrong, Obi. He never should’ve hurt you like that."

“I had to be the perfect Jedi, don’t you understand? He would’ve ~~abandoned~~ sent me away!”

”Did Qui-Gon ever leave you again?”

”Yes. He always chose someone else over me.” _Xantos. Talh. Anakin._ Even with his dying breath, Qui-Gon abandoned his Padawan.   
  


The Duchess didn’t have to be Force Sensitive to see the troubled glaze that lingered in her beloved’s eyes.

  
  


“What would you tell Anakin if he hid a serious illness from you?”

”I’d yell at him for being an idiot.”

”You would never allow a hurting friend or loved one struggle on their own.”

The gears turned in Obi-Wan’s brain, “Do you want to take care of me now?”

”Yes.”

”I’ll try. Okay?”, he sighed tiredly. 

“That’s a good start, Ben.”  
  


“I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you.”  
  
  


“Just talk to me, okay? I want to know about your heart.”

Obi-Wan joined her at the table when lunch when was ready. He ate two grilled cheese sandwiches and most of his soup. It was first and last time in the days since surgery he ate well. The pain meds would sour his appetite temporarily. 

The first few days were the roughest part of his recovery. He mostly slept since the pain meds made him sleepy and nauseated. Obi-Wan ate very bland meals, and took supervised walks around the Temple. He struggled to keep anything down. The surgical site was mildly bruised and swollen, not unusual. It felt weird to feel the pacemaker under his skin.

Satine had been quieter after their talk. She was thinking about what he had said. Would she leave him? She continued to care for him reminding him to take his medicine, sharing meals, and going for walks. He knows when his friends think he's asleep, they meet and talk about him. Do they not want him anymore? He's too old to be thrown out out the Order and try to find his way in the world. Obi-Wan quietly worried about being vulnerable with Satine. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An intermission 
> 
> Obi-Wan begins to heal after his pacemaker surgery, a turning point in his recovery.

_Week One Post Op_

While Satine slept in his (their?) bed, Obi-Wan took a moment to look at himself in the mirror. It was something he avoided these days. He hadn't recognize gaunt, thin, fragile, man in the mirror with the haunted thousand yard stare reflected at him lately. Within a week after surgery, his appearance had already begun to improve. 

His skin was a health, pink, flourishing with life. His circulation had improved by ten fold and he wasn't nearly as cold. He could breath. His energy returned, he felt better.

His hair was short, longer than a buzz cut, but not as long as it had been before the Rako Hardeen mission. He missed its length, but at least, he had a beard again. With his shirt off, Obi-Wan took in the sight of his pacemaker's pink scare, his long artistic fingers push over the firm, outline of the device implanted under his skin. He was looking more and more like himself, still a little skinny.

But Dr. Baize hoped he'd put the weight back on as his body did't burn so many calories keeping him alive and his appetite returned. 

He admired himself in the mirror, imainge what'd he like fifteen pounds heavier with lithe muscles and graceful form. Once cleared, Obi-Wan would begin training to be physically fit and strong like he had been before the heart attack. His fingers itched to hold a light saber again. He wanted to feel his blood pumping, heart racing as he raced across the battle field.

There was a deep need to be back with the 212th. He was so distracted, he didn't notice Satine had awaken and was watching him flex in the mirror. A smile on her lips as she withheld a giggle.

"How are you feeling?", Satine asked with a yawn.

"Much better. No more broken heart, dearest.", Obi-Wan sat beside her on the bed. She wrapped an arm around him.

"No more broken heart.", she kissed him gently. 

"I could get used to this.", Obi-Wan murmured, holding Satine in his arms. 

"Should we have pancakes for breakfast?"

"I'd rather ravish you instead.", he gave her a wolfish smile.

  
"Down, boy. Once the Doctor clears you, you can do whatever you wish.", Satine teased.

"I'll hold you to it."

"I expect nothing less, darling."

She knew he was feeling better, teasing, flirting, and being goofy in the mirror were all good signs. Satine wasn't sure the last time she saw him so relaxed. After weeks of struggling, it made her want to pause the clock and stay right here.

They made chocolate chip pancakes, and build a pillow fort. Most of their day was spent cuddle, and kissing lazily, a compromise Obi-Wan was willing to settle for. 

* * *

Obi-Wan Kenobi quietly wondered what the next few months might look like. His circulation had already improved. He didn’t feel nearly as winded or cold. He felt so much better, he knew surgery was the right decision for him. Dr. Baize felt like he could resume exercise, sex, swimming, katas, and an active life within the next four to six weeks.

It would be at least six to eight weeks for Dr. Baize would discuss any return to Jedi responsibilities.He needed to be mindful of how he moved his upper body, especially his right side where the pacemaker was. He can't lift anything heavier than ten pounds and was not to reach above his head. 

  
It was still difficult for him to ask for help. Obi-Wan did not like needing assistance to complete basic, self-care tasks. However, he did allow Bant and Satine to help. He was thankfully Anakin and Ahsoka were able to stay for almost a week before they headed back the front.

His limited range of motion forced Obi-Wan to learn to rely on extra help. There was no shortage of Jedi in the Temple willing to help either. 

  
Obi-Wan began to do the gentle, exercises the doctor assigned. Obi-Wan began slowly walking his fingers up a wall until they reached his shoulder height, walking them back down again, about four or five times. He pretended to play the piano, stretching each of his fingers.

He gentle moved his shoulders in circles forward and backwards two or three times each. With the same dedication, Kenobi approached his katas, he began following the post-op exercise guide to the same level of care and attention. Dr. Baize was very pleased with his compliance to the diet, exercise and rest plan

  
It was no secret Obi-Wan Kenobi was a perfectionist. He was the poster child of the Jedi Order, prim, proper, and polite. Little did many people beyond his close knit circle of Council members, family and friends know he often worked himself into exhaustion in his pursuit of perfection. The rocky first year of Obi-Wan's partnership with Qui-Gon shaped him, the ground zero of his mal-adaptive response to trauma.

The Council isn't known to be the leading expert in child-rearing and trauma. (cough cough, Anakin probably needed a mind healer more than anything else.) It would've been more beneficial to send Pandawan Kenobi to therapy than on prohibition following his decision to leave the Order. 

  
Despite the rough beginnings, Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi did overcome their strained relationship. If you asked Obi-Wan about Qui-Gon he would praise him for his patience, kindness, and wisdom. 

The Council stepped in to ensure the duo would not fail. Qui-Gon eventually worked through his grief of his failed partnership with Xanatos, a padawan who fell to the Dark side and acknowledged his early failings to do right by Obi-Wan.

  
Knowing how Qui-Gon had hurt Obi-Wan made it difficult for Satine to reconcile the stories of hero worship and adoration her beloved held for the man. Jinn was not a perfect Master, deeply flawed, and just as emotionally constipated as Obi-Wan.

The man she had known when Jinn and Kenobi had protected her on Mandalore wasn't not the ghost of the man Obi-Wan had known as a young Padawan. They were partners, a fierce, capable team, Master and Padawan forged in the fire of their difficult beginnings. Yet the insecurities of abandonment, failure, and pursuit perfection lingered within Obi-Wan long after their difficult relationship healed.

  
Just as the events on Naboo opened old wounds as did Obi-Wan's recent illness and the weight of the war had shaken lose memories and deeply held traumas. After his talk with Satine, Kenobi made a point of discussing his feelings with his Mind Healer. 

He was trying to make sense of his feelings, and if he needed reassurance Satine wasn't leaving him, she grant him that. But she had a feeling they were going to be okay. 


	10. Chapter 10

The first four weeks of Obi-Wan’s recovery required a lot of time, energy and care. Kenobi had gained six pounds, appeared once more well rested and relaxed. Slowly but steadily, his cheeks began to fill in. The bags are his eyes lessened. He looked healthier, no longer longer lingering on the brink of death.   
  


Perhaps he’d always been haunted by the war. There still moments he got lost in his head, eyes blankly staring ahead.But Obi-Wan continued to make strides with his Mind Healer. And he took his medicine which greatly improved his mood. 

  
  
Dr. Baize released Obi-Wan begin resuming his pre-surgery active lifestyle. Obi-Wan only one things on his mind: Satine. Oh he was going to delight in explore her body with his new found stamina and libido.

Obi-Wan nearly skipped with joy out of the Halls of Healing. Master Che hadn’t seen him so excited in a long time. The Jedi Master ran across Master Yoda and several councilors on the walk back to his quarters. 

“Joyful you are, Master Kenobi.”, Yoda gave him a knowing smile.   
  
  


“Ah, yes. I’ve been cleared for moderate exercise.” 

_”_ Report to the Council you will in two weeks to discuss your health we will.”

”Yes, Master.”, Obi-Wan bowed respectfully. Yoda returned the gesture with his hands folded together.

”See the Duchess you are, say hello for me.”, Master Yoda ribbed him, hitting Obi-Wan in the shins with his gimer stick. 

“Of course, Grandmaster.”, Obi-Wan gave a polite smile. _You little green shit.  
_

The Council members mutter quietly about the Kenobi-Skywalker linage and their space wives. Kenobi’s cheeks flushed red with embarrassment.

* * *

Obi-Wan ordered out for dinner. He picked up a bottle of wine and set a candle light dinner. Satine would be pampered, waited on hand and foot. It was a way of expressing his sincere thanks and adoration.   
  


They had a wonderful evening just the two of them. Listening to their favorite record while the couple made love. It would be a night of parting, an end to their stolen time together.

Satine would return to Mandalore under the escort of Master Plo Koon and his battalion. Together the Jedi General and GRA would help to prevent Death Watch from overthrowing Satine’s Administration.   
  


There was also an unspoken promise. Whether together or apart, a couple they will remain. Obi-Wan quietly let himself dream about retirement, he had been so resistant to the idea originally. His heart condition changed things, suddenly the future felt like his for the making, as if his destiny was his to shape.

He had seen a glimpse into the future. His recent visions showed himself finding the bodies of younglings mangled on the floors of the Temple. The future is always in motion, always fluid, changing, a living force. _Could he write himself out of the narrative?  
  
_

As his sweaty hair cling to his forehead, he let himself dream of being Satine’s husband, of feeling their child growing with her. Obi-Wan let himself dream of something other than war.   
  


“You’re thinking too hard.”, Satine teased, letting him hold her against his naked chest.   
  


“Dreaming.”

”A good one I hope?”

”Of babies and marriage.”, he said softly, stealing a kiss.   
  
  


“You would grow bored, Ben.”

”Maybe I’ve had enough excitement for one life.”

“What about the war?”

”Wait for me.”

”Oh, darling.”, Satine’s voice soften. 

“I mean it.”

”What about the Order?”

”I’ve given them everything, and it almost cost me my life.”

”Obi-Wan, there’s something I need to tell you.”

“You can always tell me anything.”

“We have a son. His name is Korkie. He’s fourteen.”

“Oh wow. Tell me about him.”, Obi-Wan’s voice was quiet.

”He inherited your gift for negotiation and my temper.” 

  
“Force help us. Does he look like you?”

”Actually, I think he looks like you.”

”Thank you for telling me.”

”You aren’t mad?”

“I’m sure it weighed on you. You tried to put him first. That’s your right as Mom.”, Obi-Wan said quietly.

Satine reminds herself he’s been parenting Anakin for twelve years now. He’s just as much a parent as she is. 

“There wasn’t a day I didn’t long for you to join us. I so badly wanted to tell you.”

”It would’ve endangered us all.”

”With Death Watch’s threats increasing. I worry, Ben.”

”I won’t let anyone hurt you. Both of you.”, Obi-Wan breathed.   
  


Obi-Wan steals a kiss, and brushes their foreheads together. They hold each closer close, enjoying these finally moments before they will say goodbye. There’s part of Obi-Wan that wants to go with her. He has a bad feeling about her return to Mandalore. 


	11. Chapter 11

Obi-Wan doesn't sleep well the night before Satine's departure from Coruscant. He tosses and turning, nightmares of everyone he loves dying, it's not a premonition, just a deeply held fear he's had ever since Qui-Gon died. Nevertheless, Kenobi does have a really awful feelings about being separated from the Duchess. It's no secret Death Watch's threats are ramping up, and little did Kenobi know Darth Maul was plotting something grievous for the couple. 

When the couple awoke, they made love again that morning, desperate kisses and a deep yearn for closeness. He needs to feel underneath him, alive, wanting, asking for more. It reminds Obi-Wan it's not all a dream he's going to wake from and find himself alone again. Afterwards, they took their time showering, caring for each other. Satine knew something was frightening her beloved, it wasn't like him to be so tactile and anxious, not even as of late. 

Obi-Wan had kissed her goodbye in his quarters. Their parting felt a a shroud of mourning, a future clouded by uncertainty and something dark. It felt quiet, like the Force was already mourning a death that happened yet.The Force was screaming at him, Obi-Wan tried to ignore, rubbing his temple, feeling headache already building there. Watching Satine leave for Mandalore made his chest ache, a feeling of wrongness that he wasn't accompanying her. 

Master Yoda and Obi-Wan stood side by side, "Troubled, you seem, Kenobi."

"I have a bad feeling that something is terrible is doing to happen, Grandmaster." Obi-Wan wilted.

Yoda makes an all knowing "hum" low in his throat, "Out of my sight you must go before my mind changes." _Force help us_ , the Grand Master thought, unable to resist those sad blue eyes, and that pouty lip. 

"T-thank you, Master. I am in your debts." 

"Pregnant, you must not get her." _Too late, the Force mused._ Master Yoda sighs, cradling his head against his palm, _Mediate on this I must._

"Grandmaster!", Obi-Wan exasperated.

"Need this you will.", Yoda hands Obi-Wan an already packed bag and his light saber. For good measure, the Grand Master hits Obi-Wan in the shins with his gimer stick. 

"May the Force Be With You.", Obi-Wan accepts the bag.

"And also with you." , they both bow, Master Yoda sends him on his way, rolling his eyes as he comms Master Plo. It seems Yoda won the pool on how long it would take for Obi-Wan to pout in Satine's absence. 

Obi-Wan joins the love of his life on the Coronet, she's surprised to see him stand on the ramp. 

"Ben?", Satine chews her lip.

"I'm on strict orders from the Jedi High Council to accompany you to Mandalore."

"I thought you were still recovering." 

"I can recover just as well on Mandalore as I can at the Temple."

She takes him by the hand, "Welcome home, darling." 

The couple takes a seat, buckling up for the journey ahead. Little does Obi-Wan know so shortly after fighting for his life, he will once again be facing the battle of a life time. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, Obi-Wan was right, it wasn't gonna go well.

Obi-Wan and Plo compromised, defaulting to Satine's Royal Guard for direction. The Jedi Generals nor their men carried weapons. The soldiers oversaw round the clock security, and traffic blockades. When the couple arrived on Mandalore, things were quiet as they monitored Death Watch's movements. Obi-Wan tightened palace security, ensure both the Duchess and Korkie were well guarded. Satine was not thrilled about the Jedi and GRA presence on the Planet.

It was quiet for all of two weeks before Obi-Wan's nightmares intensified. He dreamed of Satine dying, of a light saber piercing her abdomen just as Qui-Gon had died. They were vivid, dreams, haunting his every waking moment. Satine worried about him, knowing how little he was sleeping at night. Obi-Wan had taken to napping in the day time, a sign of how anxious he felt.

Obi-Wan was sleep deprivation and exhausted, neither is good for his strained cardiac health. He lost it after another evening of watching everyone he loves die at the hand of Maul. He hadn't come back to bed, instead he went to the gardens to meditate. In the early hours of the morning, Maul attacked Korkie's school, kidnapping the boy and broadcasting his ransom request on every news station, radio, and holo comm device in the New Mandalore system.

"I want Kenobi for the boy. Either you face me, Kenobi or I'll kill each and every person you've ever loved just like I took your Master." Maul cackled, sending shudders down Obi-Wan's spine. 

He was in the gardens when the news broke. Maul never even had to fight him, Kenobi was already broken. Tears filled his eyes as he was instant transported back in time to the fateful moment his Master was died. Obi-Wan Kenobi will never forget the broken, haunted look on Qui-Gon's face. Anakin and Satine found him in a trace weeping and calling out for his Master. If there was ever a moment, Obi-Wan had ever for a moment considered falling from the light, this moment would test him. 

"Obi-Wan?", Satine called. 

"This isn't good.", Anakin sighed. 

"Please tell me you can get through to him."

"I'll try."

Anakin found Obi-Wan's shields to be impenetrable. He had them pulled tight, and it felt like a maze with deadly booby traps at every corner. It frightened Anakin, someone must be poking around in Kenobi's head if he was being so guarded and careful. They couldn't do anything, but wait. Obi-Wan came out of the trance on his own. He collapsed wearily against Satine's shoulder. 

"Darling?"

"W-where are we?"

"Mandalore." 

"My Master is one with the Force. 

"He's been gone for over twelve years, Obi." 

"What happened?", Obi-Wan asked holding his head. 

"You were stuck in a loop. I don't know, ever since anything like it. Does that happen often?"

"Yes." 

"We'll need your head in the game if we're gonna get Korkie back safely.", Anakin wraps an arm around Obi-Wan.

"He wants me, Anakin. I have to face him alone."

  
"Absolutely not. You will not face him alone."  
  


"I won't let him take anyone else I love."

"We'll figure this out." 

"No." 

Obi-Wan steels himself, he dusts himself off and kisses Satine gently, "I'm sorry. I have to go."

"You'll need this.", Satine hands him his light saber. 

"I love you always." 

"As do I, darling." 

Anakin is speechless, he expected Satine to stop Obi-Wan not encourage him. He is even more surprised with Obi-Wan wraps him in a hug, "I am so proud of you, Anakin. You've grown in a fine young man, and an excellent Knight. Take care of them for me?" 

"You're coming back." 

"I hope so."

"Whatever happened to we don't negotiation with terrorists?"" 

"He has my _son_." 

Anakin and Satine watch in horror as Obi-Wan comms Maul.

"I'm here, you bastard. When do we meet?"

"Outside the palace in an hour."

  
"I need assurance the boy is alive." 

  
"Fine. Talk, kid."

"Korkie?"

"General Kenobi?"

"I think you can call me Obi-Wan."

"I'm okay, Obi-Wan, just please, hurry."

Obi-Wan prepares himself by mediating in the gardens. He asks Anakin and Satine to leave him. Master Plo Koon watches the man from the window, he is deeply troubled by how quickly Kenobi is willing to thrown himself in danger. They cannot allow this, surely the Council would not want this. Master Plo comms the Council, and to his disappointment, they approve of Kenobi's negation with Maul. He's one of the few Jedi who've fought a Sith and lived to tell the story. _The Force feels troubled, deeply troubled and the future clouded._


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a long chapter, buckle up. For extra angst listen to Hamilton's Stay Alive - Reprise

Obi-Wan mediated for quite some time seeking the guidance of the Unifying Force. He was granted insight into the battle he would fight with Maul. He felt centered and calm, releasing his anger and fear into the Force. He dressed in the red Mandolorian armor given to him by the Duchess. Kenobi clipped the saber to his belt and prepared to walk into the fight of his life.   
  


Obi-Wan strutted to the front of the palace, and he waited. He ordered the palace to be evacuated. Little does he know Maul already has Satine.   
  


“We meet again, Kenobi.”

  
  
“You can have me, just hand over the boy.”

”You think it’d be that easy?”, Maul laughs. He pulls Obi-Wan closer, choking him with the Dark Side of the Force.

”He’s just a boy.”, Obi-Wan wheezed.   
  


“He’s your son isn’t he? Maul taunted, he slapped Korkie across the face.   
  


Obi-Wan cries, falling to his knees. His lungs ache from the momentary lack of oxygenation.  
  


“I will break you, _darling_.”, Maul taunted, stroking Obi-Wan’s hair. Satine’s pet name for Kenobi in Maul’s voice sends shivers down his spine. 

”Already broken.”, Obi-Wan’s eyes met his, they’ve circling each other, weapons still at their sides.   
  
  


“Take the palace.”, Maul orders. 

”You won’t find her there.” 

“What did you say?”

”They’ve evacuated the palace.”

  
  


“Oh, you thought you could save her.”, Maul laughs, he snaps his fingers.

Obi-Wan watches in horror as Satine is forced onto her knees next to Korkie.

”You bastard.”

”Call off your dogs or they’ll be as dead as the Duchess’ Royal Guard.”

  
Reluctantly, Obi-Wan comms Anakin and Plo. He orders them to back off. 

* * *

Obi-Wan is forced on his knees, he feels his hands as they are bound. They are taken by Maul’s men to the throne room.   
  


Maul assumes the throne, keeping Korkie bound on his knees. Korkie and Satine makes eye contact with Obi-Wan. 

“You should’ve chosen the dark side, Master Kenobi.”, Maul forces Korkie at his feet, force choking Satine.   
  


  
“Never.”  
  


”Your emotions betray you. Your fear, and yes, your anger. Let your anger strengthen your hatred.”  
  


“Don’t listen to him, Obi.”, Satine rasped.

”Quiet.”, Maul snarled.   
  
  


“You can kill me, but you’ll never destroy me.”, Obi-Wan sneered, steeling himself with determination.

Maul laughs, and snaps his fingers, “What if I told you everyone you love will either die or betray you? You will be alone.”   
  


Obi-Wan shuts his eyes as the visions overwhelm him. He chokes back a sob. The bodies of younglings on the floor. Cody’s betrayal. Satine’s death. A newborn’s cry. Fighting Anakin. Dying at Anakin’s hand. Ahsoka leaving. _Death. Betrayal. Heartache. Loneliness._ Exile on Tatooine. Fighting Maul.   
  


_You're right, I'm not a little boy. And as far as your wisdom is goes, you're no Qui-Gon Jinn_!

_I presume you are acquainted with the collection of half-truths and hyperbole known as Obi-Wan Kenobi?_

_I hate you.  
_   
  


_Obi-Wan, promise... Promise me you will train the boy._

_Execute Order 66_

_You were my brother, Anakin. I love you.  
_

_No longer certain that one ever does win a war, I am.  
  
_

Obi-Wan gasps heavily, he wants to throw up. The tears spill out of his closed eyes, the horror of it all is overwhelming.   
  


“Only the Sith deal in absolutes.”, Obi-Wan’s voice cracks.

”You could spare the world so much if you only fell.”  
  


“It takes strength to resist the dark side. Only the weak embrace it.”

  
  


”It is more powerful than you know.”

  
”Those who resist it are even more powerful.”

Maul grows impatient, Obi-Wan watches movement from the flicker of his eye. Help is on the way, if only he can keep Maul distracted.   
  


“I’ve been to your village.”, Obi-Wan began, sharing what he knew about Maul’s brother. He knew his opponent did not willingly chose the Dark Side.   
  


“You think you know me?!”

”We are more alike than you think. Both apprentices of Masters who will never give us the love and approval we crave.”

“It was I who languished for years, dreaming of this moment. Thinking nothing but of you, of this moment. ANd now, the perfect tool for my vengeance is in front of us. I never planned on killing you, but I will make you share my pain, Kenobi." 

Again as if the day can’t possible get any worse, Maul raises his blade to kill Satine and Korkie pushes forward, taking the fateful blow meant for her. The boy shivers, his muscles contract with pain. It takes everything with Obi-Wan to resist the anger and darkness at swirls beneath his skin. Satine has her hand pressed against the wound, she's holding their son, crying and pleading with him.  
  


"Korkie, no, not my baby.", Satine rocks him. 

Obi-Wan makes eye contact with Anakin and Ahsoka. His spare light saber is rolled across the floor. _Swish. Swish. Stab_. In three blows, he's fatally maimed Darth Maul, "I forgive you, Maul." Kenobi gives his opponent a kindness he does not desire, he cradles him making sure he is not alone as he breathes his last breath. 

"Y-you foolish man.", Maul coughs.

"I would endure heartbreak a thousand lifetimes if it meant I knew them for only a moment.", Obi-Wan confessed glancing over at his wife and son. 

  
"I-s Skywalker the chosen one?", Maul wheezes, struggling to breath.

"Yes."

"He will avenge us." Maul's breathing cease. Obi-Wan sighs, closing the Sith's lifeless glassy eyes. 

He puts Maul down gently, and rushes to cradle his family in his arms. Satine's dress is stained with blood, her hands trying desperately to put pressure on the wound. 

"Is he alive?", Obi-Wan breathed. 

"Yes, but he needs immediate medical attention."

"Korkie, I'm here, son.", Obi-Wan brushes the boy's hair out of face. He gives him a gentle squeeze, pressing a kiss against his hand.

"I did exactly as you taught me, both of you.", Korkie whispered as his parents hold him. 

"Shhh, I know.", Satine soothed, pressing a kiss against his forehead. 

"I held my head up high."

  
""I know you did everything, just right, you were so brave.", Obi-Wan reassured. 

"I had to save her. It would destroy you.", Korkie locked eyes with Obi-Wan.

"Save your strength, lad.", Obi-Wan pleaded. 

"You have to take care of her for me.", Korkie coughs. 

"You can do that yourself, lad.", Obi-Wan pleaded with the universe, the Force, Qui-Gon, with whoever would listen. 

"I'm forgetting what you taught me. We played piano.", Korkie took his mother's hand. 

"I taught you, dear one."

"You remember how you'd out your hands on mine."

"You liked to change the melody."

"I always changed the line."

"I know, shh. Breath."

" _I always changed the line_.", he gave her a toothy knowing smile. 

  
"Is he going to survive this?", Satine asked. Kix's steady hands took over tending to the wound. 

"We're going to do what we can, ma'm.", Kix reassured as they moved Korkie onto a holo stretcher.

The Force was shaken. _I always changed the line._ Maul is dead. But Kenobi wondered if his son would survive the evening. 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korkie fights for his life while Obi-Wan faces the Jedi Council.

It’s the longest four days of Obi-Wan’s life as they travel through hyper space. Korkie’s condition remains unchanged, hour to hour critical. The decision was made to take him back to the Temple where the healers could deal with the wound.

Master Plo and the troops would keep Mandalore safe. When Bo realized Korkie and Satine had gotten caught in the cross fire, Death Watch put down their blades. They had make a serious mistake working with the Sith. 

Given the circumstances, Satine would remain on Mandalore while Korkie and Obi-Wan traveled for Coruscant. She didn’t want to leave them. It had not been an easy decision to part. 

A wound from a Sith weapon was no ordinary injury. It would require Master Che’s expertise. He was on a ventilator, and placed in a Force induced trace. His wound is carefully packed. 

Kenobi hadn’t left Korkie’s side, other than for a few moments to be looked over by Doc and Kix. He kept a round the clock vigil at his son’s side.  
  


Obi-Wan hadn’t even changed out of his bloodied clothes. _Let them see what they’ve done._ Neither Obi-Wan or Satine wanted Korkie or the world to find out the way he had about his parentage. The whole galaxy knew. Obi-Wan knew the Coucil would want to speak with him.   
  


Anakin and Ahsoka watch from outside the glass walls of the medbay watching Obi-Wan. 

  
Physically, Obi-Wan’s injuries were minimal bruises, cuts, and lacerations where the cuffs were. Emotionally, Maul scarred him. He hadn’t spoke a word since then. He looked like a ghost.  
  


“Do you think they’ll be okay, Skyguy?”, Ahsoka asked.   
  


“I-I don’t know, Snips.”, Anakin sighed.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Obi-Wan so defeated.”

”He always comes back stronger. He’s Obi-Wan _Kriffing_ Kenobi.”

As they began their descent, Anakin worried about the Council’s summons. Certainly, they’d take one look at him and know this is not the time. Gods, he hoped for Kenobi’s sake, the man could talk his way out of this one. 

* * *

Master Yoda is waiting for them as they walk off the ramp. Obi-Wan gives Korkie’s hand a final squeeze and kisses his forehead before holding his head high and meeting his Grandmaster in his bloodied armor. Wordlessly, Kenobi presses his lightsaber into Yoda’s hands.   
  


“Summoning you the Council is, Kenobi.”

Obi-Wan nods. His entirely demeanor shifted, he looked just as broken and weary as he felt. Everyone in the Temple whispered about the rumors that circled the holonet, many stopped when they saw the haunted look in his eyes. Obi-Wan stared blankly in space as if he was somewhere else.   
  


“Th council meeting will begin promptly.”, Mace announces once everyone has taken their seat.

Obi-Wan stands in the center, his hands are shaking. He’s caked in grim, filth and blood. He had chosen to remain in Mandolorian armor. Kenobi was thankful, Anakin and Ahsoka flanked him on either side.   
  


“Is it true? You _finally_ killed Maul.”

“There are rumors circling that you are the boy’s father and the Duchess’ spouse.”

”Would you like to explain yourself?”

  
  
“These are serious accusations, Master Kenobi.”  
  


“Tell the truth you, must.”

”Violating the Code is grounds for expulsion.”   
  


“Much confusion swirling in you, I sense. Dangerous it is.”

  
Obi-Wan did not answer. He proceed to sit on the floor, pressing his head against his knees as he rocked back n forth. His hands cupped his ears trying to filter out the overwhelming cacophony of voices. 

Kenobi knew they’d likely toss him out of the Temple. His hands were still stained with Maul’s blood, with Korkie’s. He had given up his lightsaber. He waited for the words but they never came.   
  


Master Plo’s voice silenced the onslaught of questions. Obi-Wan lifted his head when the room quieted. Thank the Force it was too loud.   
  
  


“Obi-Wan, how do you feel?”, the parental Jedi and Council member asked.   
  


  
“It’s too much.”, his voice sounded broken and raspy from disuse. Anakin and Ahsoka made eye contact. It was the first time they heard him speak in days. 

The Jedi Master lowered his shields momentarily so that the entire room could feel his anguish. Everything felt too loud, too bright, too overwhelming. Force exhaustion and emotional distress waited heavily on him. The Councils gasped when he described the horrible vision he had.   
  


He didn’t mean for the Council to hear his thoughts, but his flimsy shields were slow to react. _Fear. Rejection. Abandonment. Self-doubt._ Kenobi is afraid they’ll exile him. 

<“I’m not proud to that I killed Darth Maul. I am mourning that any Soul would fall to the Darkness.”>, Obi-Wan shared through the Force. 

“Mad with you, we are not.”, Master Yoda hummed.   
  
  


“Have you always been in a relationship with the Duchess?”

<“When I left Mandalore at 18 years old, I had chosen the Order over Satine.”>   
  
  


“What about the boy?”

<“She never told me she was pregnant. I never knew I had a son until _three_ weeks ago.”>

“What about your marriage?”, another Council member asked.   
  
  


<“A silly, childish vow two younglings whispered under the cover of night. I don’t even think it’s legally binding as there were no witness.” >

”Do you deny your relationship with the Duchess?”

<”I do not.“>, Obi-Wan set his jaw. Anakin steels himself from turning his head and making eye contact with Obi-Wan, he thinks of Padme.   
  


“Do you deny had you no attachments to this woman and her child then Maul would not have grounds to torment you by manipulating them?”

”No, I do not.”, Obi-Wan seethes with anger. 

  
“Work on your attachments, you must.”

“Master Kenobi acted as a model Jedi and warrior facing Darth Maul. These conversations can wait until another day, allow him time to regroup.”, Plo advocated.   
  


“Agree with Master Koon, I do.”, Yoda looked troubled.   
  
  


The councilors deliberated for a few months, rendering appropriate next steps. Winduannounced their decision, “You will see a mind healer. We will reconvene in two weeks, until then you’re on probation, Kenobi.”

  
  
Obi-Wan bowed respectfully. He leaned tiredly against Anakin as they walked out of the chamber. Kenobi closed his eyes, sighing softly.   
  


“You ought to get cleaned up, and eat something before you go sit with Korkie.”

”I promised I’d take care of him.”, Obi-Wan said quietly.   
  


“You will. Come along, Master. You wouldn’t want him to see you like this.”

Obi-Wan modded, letting Ahsoka and Anakin wrap their arms around him. They walk to their quarters, and Anakin wait in the living room while Kenobi cleaned himself up. Ahsoka ordered Dex’s and went to pick it up.   
  


Anakin watched as Obi-Wan emerged in the living room in a clean set of robes. The tired man laid his head on Anakin’s shoulder, another telling statement. It wasn’t often Obi-Wan was openly tactile and seeking comfort.   
  


Obi-Wan didn’t move until Ahsoka returned with lunch. They quietly huddled around the kitchen table and ate. Kenobi wasn’t in a talking mood, they let the silence hang between them.   
  


Obi-Wan ate all his lunch before quietly leaving for the Halls of Healing. He resumed his post in the waiting room, drawing his knees to his chest. Korkie was in surgery, then would spent the next 48 hours in the bacta tank. Obi-Wan would not leave him. 


	15. Chapter 15

Obi-Wan takes to sleeping on the narrow couch in Korkie’s ICU room. He doesn’t want the boy to be alone when he wakes up. This is his chance to be the father he never got to be.   
  


His friends and colleagues find Kenobi is only willing to leave if someone takes his place. He agrees to leave twice a day to take a shower, and see the minded healer down the hall. No one, not even the Council could find it within themselves to be mad.   
  


Obi-Wan mediates, reads his holo novel or naps. He religiously follows his cardiac care instructions. It’s the most still and well behaved he’s been in weeks.   
  


He takes his meals in Korkie’s room, someone usually Anakin or Ahsoka join him. Sometimes, a councilor comes by, even those who dissent about whether one can be a Jedi and Father.   
  


It’s been nearly a week since Korkie was stabbed. He still has yet to open his eyes, not unusual considering the trauma his body has gone through.   
  


Master Yoda knocks, “Come in can I?”

”Of course, Master.”, Obi-Wan’s voice is quiet. He still isn’t talking much. He isn’t quick to move, still resting his head on the edge of Korkie’s bed. He cradled Korkie in his.   
  
  


“Eat you should.”

  
Obi-Wan gently lifts his head, and sits up in his chair.

Master Yoda brought them both lunch. The grand master pushed the tray towards Kenobi. 

“Looks like you he does.”, Yoda muses, mapping out the features of Korkie’s face.   
  


“Really? I think he looks like Satine.”

”Grandchildren other expect I can when?”, The ancient one teased.   
  
  


Obi-Wan snorts, “I reckon that depends on the council’s ruling.”

”Indebted to your family we are.”

”Why is that?”

”Incredible Jedi Master you are.”

”You say that only because you want me to stay.”   
  


“Selfishly, I do.”

  
”Hypothetically, what if our paths do not intertwine any longer?”Obi-Wan gave him a private, devastatingly sad smile.

Yoda squeezed his hand, “Follow the Force you must.”

* * *

Korkie opens his eyes for the first time on Day 10. The first thing he notices is the sleeping Jedi curled up at the edge of his bed. The word comes out of his mouth without thinking, “ _Buir_?” _Parent_

  
Obi-Wan cracks his eyes open, “She’s not her.” Seeing Korkie confused face, the Jedi Master realizes the boy meant him, “Oh, I’m right here, _ad_.” _Child_

Obi-Wan helps the boy sit up, putting a pillow behind his head. He offers him a a straw when the boy asks for water. They both study here each for a moment. It’s weird to see your own facial expressions reflected back at you.   
  


“H-hi.”, Korkie offered a soft smile.   
  


“It’s good to see you awake.”

”How long?”

”Ten days.”

”Is Mom okay?”

”Alive. And Gods help us all, a force to be reckon with us.”, Obi-Wan teased.   
  


  
A lip tugged at the boy’s lips, his eyes grew heavy. Obi-Wan encourages him to rest. He would still here when he woke up. It’s nearly lunch time before Obi-Wan sees those blue Kenobi eyes.

“You stayed.”, Korkie’s eyes shine with wonder and surprise.   
  


  
“I will never abandon you.”

“Why didn’t she tell us?”, Korkie’s voice cracked.   
  


“To protect us. The child of a Jetti and Mando would never have been accepted, especially not after a Civil War when her government was so fragile.”

“I want to know you.”

”And I you.”

”Gods, she’s so infuriating.”, they say in unison. Unconsciously, they both rest an inquisitive hand on their chins.   
  


Anakin stood in the doorway amused, seeming the father and son interact.   
  


“That’s spooky. Let’s not do that again.”, Anakin teased. He brought lunch for Obi-Wan and Korkie. The kid just starting to eat liquids and soft foods.   
  
  


“I brought tea. I don’t know what the kid likes to drink.”

Anakin should’ve expected Satine and Obi-Wan’s kid would’ve inherited similar tastes in tea. Satine enjoys spicy teas while Obi-Wan favors an earthy blend.   
  


“Oh, green tea is delightful.”, Korkie smiles.   
  


Korkie is thankful for the bowl of rice, jello, and toast. Much to Obi-Wan’s mortification, Anakin is telling the story of Hoi-broth incident. Introducing Korkie to his older brother, Anakin might be a disaster. 

* * *

In true Kenobi fashion, Korkie becomes sick of being confined to bed by Day 18 and becomes Master Che’s worst nightmare. He tried to escape the Halls on more than one occasion.   
  


His injuries are healing well thanks to the Bacta. The wound is nothing more than an angry, red mark on his abdomen. While he required extra sleep and length of rest, Korkie worms his away into moderate activity with supervision.   
  


After three long weeks in the Halls, Master Che released the boy into Kenobi‘s care and allowed him to return to their quarters. Obi-Wan is uncertain about his role as Dad, especially when Korkie wants to know more about Jedi culture. 

It is very important to know that Korkie Kenobi-Kyrze makes it his personal mission to charm the entire Council, even the dissenting voices.   
  


He takes well to lessons in the Crèche. Korkie’s education continues as he recovers. The boy holds his own in hand to hand sparing matches.

Yoda dotes on him, teaching him about plants in the greenhouse and mediating with the boy. 

Korkie talks Mace into teaching about shatter points. Little did either of his parents know about his premonitions.   
  
  


Master Plo delights in telling the boy stories when they talk on the phone. 

Obi-Wan has finally found a debate partner as intriguing and challenging as Satine.   
  


Cody oversee the boy’s continued self-defense training   
  


And Rex did not turn down the offer of taking Korkie to the range to practice his blaster skills.   
  
  


Anakin and Ahsoka include Kenobi-Kyrze in their mischief making, as well as pranks. 

  
It turns out the youngest Kenobi is just as infuriatingly charming, and a formidable negotiator as his father. 

Likewise, he has his mother’s stubbornness and temper. Korkie is not easily swayed once he makes up his mind. 

  
The entire Council as adopted Kenobi-Kyrze as their nephew. Yoda officially becomes Grandfather. Even Ahsoka and Anakin consider him their youngest brother. Korkie is well liked by the Temple, especially the younglings. 

While Obi-Wan is incredibly proud and does not want to hid the beauty of the Jedi culture from his son, he doesn’t know what Satine would think. 

  
  
“I want to learn more, Baba.”, Korkie decided over dinner at Dex’s. 

“Your mother would disapprove.”  
  


“She doesn’t want Aunt Bo to teach me about Mandalorian warrior culture either.”

Obi-Wan sighs, “It’s not my place.”

“As a Force sensitive being, I have a right and responsibility to be trained.”

”You’re too old to be a Padawan.”

“Good thing you’re not going to be a Jetti Master anymore.”   
  


“The Council hasn’t made any decisions.”

”You know just as well as I do they won’t let you back in the field.”

”Korkie, there is no point is speculating.”

”You’re taking me to build a lightsaber?”, he beamed.

”Okay, okay. But you can’t tell your Mom. She’ll kill us both.”  
  


”Oh thank you, Baba!”, Korkie hugs him.

His happiness alone is almost makes getting in trouble with Satine with it.Between Korkie, Anakin and Ahsoka, Obi-Wan will definitely have grey hair before 45. 


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of self-indulgent fluff before our boy faces the music of his next appearance before the Council.

It was surreal to get to know his son, Obi-Wan saw so much of himself and Satine in Korkie. It saddened him to know he missed so much of his son’s life. Yet Kenobi did not blame Satine for the decision she made, as the incident with Maul proved, Korkie’s very parentage put him in danger.   
  
  
Obi-Wan watched with joy on his lips as Anakin, Ahsoka, and Korkie played in the crystal blue waters of the spring. Kenobi laid in the sun, enjoying his book and the sound of his children laughing. 

  
His Padawans felt Obi-Wan needed some fun and relaxation. The incident with Maul hurt him emotionally. He was sleeping again after long sessions with the mind healer and taking a sleep aid. Kenobi still had panic attacks, flashbacks, and nightmares.   
  


Korkie’s recovery much like Obi-Wan’s was slow and steady. Physically, the wound had healed and scared. He attended physical therapy to build up his strength and stamina. There was no reason why he couldn’t make the journey back to Mandalore in a few weeks. 

For Obi-Wan,there still were residual behaviors like freaking out when anyone of the kids was out of sight or calling Satine to make sure she was okay. He still practiced fighting Maul, a habit after 12 years of worrying about another fight. 

Anakin and Ahsoka felt he was making good strides in his ongoing recovery. The Council had backed off, allowing Kenobi to write his mission report with the mind healer and post-pone an in person discussion. The focus should be Obi-Wan and Korkie’s recovery, not the trauma they endured.

Despite Anakin’s dislike of sand, day at the springs made perfect sense for the family. Anakin laughed, with a feeling of carefree and happiness, Obi-Wan hadn’t seen in years. There are moments like this one, Obi-Wan wonders what it would’ve been like if he took nine year old Anakin and ran away to Mandalore. He worries if he made the wrong choice. 

“Obi-Wan! I can hear you thinking from here.”, Anakin teased. He climbed out of the water and stride towards where Obi-Wan sat.

”I like to think.”

”Well, you’re supposed to be relaxing.”, Anakin picked Obi-Wan up and tossed him into the water with a laugh.   
  
  


“So uncivilized.”, Obi-Wan laughed, pushing his wet hair out of his face. He splashed back, not letting any of the kids get the best of him.   
  
  


Much to the surprise of his children, Obi-Wan’s cannon balls were an art form, and he was not nearly as merciful in the water as on land. He is competitive, wants to win as their round of Chicken taught them. Kenobi has always been just as mischievous and rebellious as Anakin, but someone has to be the voice of reason. Raising a two Padawans and a child meant he had to be the grown up. 

* * *

Obi-Wan wasn’t expecting Satine to call after dinner. His eyes widened as he gazed over the sight of Korkie working with the training light saber and sparing Ahsoka. He swept his sweaty bangs out of his face and stepped into the hallway to answer the call.

”Oh, hello Satine.”

”Hi, darling.”

“How are you?”

”Ugh, sick of politics. Wishing I was with you.”

”I’m sorry to hear that, dear one.”

“Tell me about your day instead.”   
  


“The kids and I went for a hike to the springs. We even had a picnic.” Obi-Wan shared stories about their day.

”I’m sure you looked dashing.”, Satine teased.   
  


“You’ll have to join us sometime.”

”I would like that. How’s Korkie?”

”He’s got the entire temple wrapped around his pinky.”

”I think he takes more after you in that regard.”, Satine laughed.   
  
  


“He’s happy, Satine. Still taking classes, learning about his family, bonding with me. It’s every I dreamed of and more.”

”I-I’m so glad to hear it. I never wanted to keep the Jedi culture from him.”

“I’ll miss him when he goes back to Mandalore.”

”Would you consider going home with him? We could be a family, Ben.”

”I have never wanted anything more. I feel obligated to wait for a council ruling. We’ll know next week.”

“Understandable.” Obi-Wan could her the disappointment in her voice. 

  
  
“I still have commitments to the war and my grand padawan.”

”Of course.”

”But I’m not saying never. I’m asking you to wait for me.”, Obi-Wan blushed.   
  


“I’ve waited this long, I think I can wait a little longer.”

  
“Ahsoka is almost ready for her trials. And the war may be won within a year.”

”Ben, I’m pregnant.”   
  


“Oh, wow. How many weeks along?”, he had to sit down, afraid of passing out from excitement or sheer shock, Kenobi didn’t know. 

”It’a early yet. Seven weeks and four days.”

”How are you feeling?”

”Miserably ill. I had awful morning sickness with Korkie. Tired, hormonal and missing my boys.”   
  
  


“I’m sorry I’m not there to hold your hair.”  
  


“You’d fuss and coddle. I’d hate that.”, she laughed.   
  


  
“I promise to there as much as I can.”

”You aren’t missing much at this stage.”, she reassured.   
  
  
“A baby.”, he laughs.   
  
  


“You aren’t mad?”

“Delighted.”

  
“What happened to Jedi Master “Can’t Have A Foot in Two Doors“ Kenobi?”, Satine asked cautiously. 

“When I discovered how incredible our kid is, and decided what the hell, I’ve given so much of my life, I deserve to be happy.”

”You are not obligated to us.”

”I’ll chose our family every time.” _Anakin. Padme. Ahsoka. Korkie. Satine. Their unborn baby.  
  
_

_“_ Oh, Ben.”, she softened.   
  


“I mean it, I could’ve avoided a whole lot of heart ache if I put us first. I mean, Anakin and Ahsoka too. I’ve never seen them happier than they are now.”  
  


“I don’t want you to regret this.”

”Never.” 

“You can’t tell the kids, not yet.”

”You have my word.”

”Give Korkie my love.”

”We love you so much.”

”And we love you.”, Satine smiled.

They said their goodbyes, and Obi-Wan leaned his head against the wall. Oh, wow. _A baby_. He didn’t know how he was gonna pull it together and walk back into the training room. His legs are jello, and his heart thumps loudly in his ears. Good thing Obi-Wan Kenobi had a lot of practicing projecting calm and tranquility for years. 


	17. Chapter 17

If there was ever anyone who could find Obi-Wan Kenobi, it was Anakin Skywalker. When they went to call him for breakfast, they did not find him in his room or the gardens. Anakin has a sinking suspicion about where Kenobi might be.   
  


He quietly walked into the Room of a Thousand Fountains. Obi-Wan liked to hide in the tall grass beside Qui-Gon’s memorial tree. He had elected to sit with his back against its trunk today, more visible than hidden. Anakin did not touch him nor break his trance. Instead, Skywalker sat beside him and took him a deep breath.

  
He practiced counting and releasing his breathes, feeling the warmth of the River Rock in his pocket. Obi-Wan’s trace broke within about ten minutes, and he stretched his shoulders.   
  


“Anakin?”

”Hi, Obi. Korkie and Snips were worried about you.”

”I’m fine, just nervous.”

”You always liked Jinn’s tree.”

”It’s silly, Anakin. If he were still here, I would’ve sought his presence before meeting with the Council.”

”I don’t think that’s silly, Master.”

”Childish, perhaps. Attachment even.”, Kenobi shrugged.   
  


“Kriff attachment. Do you feel better?”

”Yes, I-I do.”

”Can I tell you something?”, Anakin asked in a quiet voice.   
  


“Always.”

”Padme is pregnant, Obi-Wan.”  
  


“Oh, wow, Anakin. How many weeks?”

”Ten weeks today.”   
  


Anakin studied his master, he wasn’t expecting the joy in his eyes. His eyes always gave him away, even if his carefully guarded face didn’t give it away.   
  


“Ventress was right. Wherever there is a Skywalker, a Kenobi is never far behind.”, Obi-Wan laughed.   
  


It took a moment for Anakin to decrypt his Master’s words.   
  


“No way, Master. How far along is Satine?”

”Eight weeks and two days.”

They shared a hug, offering each other congratulations and promising to keep things quiet. Neither couple were sharing their big news yet.   
  


”I want to thank you.”

”For what?”, Obi-Wan asks.

”Challenging the Council. Even if nothing changes, it makes me feel less alone. I don’t feel like I’m disappointing you if I chose a different path.”

”Oh, Ani. I could never be upset with you for following your heart.”

“Come on, Gramps. Let’s get you to the Council.”

”Force, I’m too young for Gramps. How about just Baba?”, he laughed. Anakin loved to hear Obi-Wan laugh. 

* * *

Obi-Wan gave each of his kids a hug, and left them sitting on the bench outside the Council chambers. He looked like a force to be reckon with, steely determination and set jaw as Kenobi walked into that room shoulders high.   
  


The kids’ eyes lingered on him until the door shut. Anakin, Ahsoka and Korkie would wait for him. Obi-Wan bowed respectfully to his fellow Councilors. All eleven (twelve counting Kenobi)were gathered either in person or by holo.

“This meeting will begin promptly.”, Windu announced.

“Begin with his medical report, we will.”, Yoda began.

Master Che read the cardiologist’s written report. Obi-Wan’s cardiac health was stable, and he was cleared for Jedi duty with guidance for the Order and GRA to follow.   
  


“We recommend General Kenobi be reinstated for full time duty and field work. The _Negotiator’s_ medbay is equipped to handle minor pacemaker issues, and Doc, Kenobi’s medic has received additional training.”, Master Che reports.   
  


“Thank you, Master Che.”

”Master Plo, you have the floor to discuss your proposal.”

”Kenobi‘s specialty is negation, peacemaking, and strategy. The 104th, 501st, and 212st continue to function as a triad as they have in his absence.”

“I’m interested. Please continue.”, Windu listened.

“We’ll back Kenobi, allowing him to function more as a tactical General rather than field active. He’d never be without either Skywalker, Tano or myself if in the field given his condition.”

”What do you think, General Kenobi?”, a Depra asked. 

“Those terms are agreeable.”  
  


Obi-Wan did not have to give a verbal report over his last mission to Mandalore. The council voted to accept the written report Kenobi worked on with his mind healer. He was thankfully to not have to work through the distress of walking them through one of the worst days of his life again.  
  


“Do you feel your relationship with the Duchess compromises your ability to serve effectively as General, Councilor and Master?”, Kit asked.   
  


“No, I do not.”

“Performed well you did on your mission to Mandalore.”, Yoda hummed.   
  


“I did not allow my attachment override my mission nor duty.”

”It’s unorthodox for a Jedi Master to have a family, but it does not seem to have hindered your sense of priorities.”, Shaak Ti affirmed.   
  


“I move we reinstate Kenobi’s rights and privileges as a Master and Councilor of the Jedi Order.”, Saesee Tiin spoke up.

”Seconded.”, Windu offers.   
  


The Council votes by casting a rock into the dish. Black for yes, white for no. There were 8 for yes and 3 for no. 

“A final request. Prior to the Great Sith War, we allowed Jedi to marry and raise children. I urge us to consider the issue of marriage and family on a case by case basis.”, Plo Koon addressed them floor. 

Obi-Wan waited patiently for the Council to deliberate amongst themselves.Yoda counts 6 for yes and 5 for no. It was a close call.   
  
  


“We grant Obi-Wan Kenobi the right to visitation and shore leave with his family. Congratulations, Master Kenobi.”, Windu rolled his eyes. 

“Thank you, fellow Councilors.”, Obi-Wan bows respectfully, expressing his gratitude. 

Obi-Wan leaves the Council chambers feeling lighter than when he entered. He chuckles to himself seeing Anakin, Ahsoka, and Korkie waiting for him. 

“How did it go, Baba?”, Korkie asks.   
  


“I am returning to my duties, and I have been granted the right to see you as well your mother.”, Obi-Wan smiles.   
  


“You’re not going to be punished?”, Anakin sounded hopeful, excited even.   
  


“Family leave and visitation can be granted by the Council on a case by case basis.”, Obi-Wan affirmed. 

“I vote we celebrate with Dex’s.”, Ahsoka gives Obi-Wan a fist bump.   
  
  


“I could eat.”, Obi-Wan shrugged, but the subtle twinge of his lip gave away his joy.

There are hugs and kisses given all around. The kids decided Obi-Wan needed more hugs. He always seems happier than more relaxed with tactile interaction. From the hallway, Yoda and Mace watch them interact.

“I hope we made the right decision.”, Windu sighed. 

“Happier than I’ve seen him in a long time.”, Yoda hummed content. 

“The Duchess won’t like sharing custody of Kenobi with us.”

”Hmm.”, Yoda mused mischievously.

”What do you know that I don’t?”

”Becoming a grandfather again will I.”, Yoda smirked. The Force has spoken to him during his morning meditation. 

"Force, not _again_. Did someone give Kenobi the talk?”

”Hmm. Honestly he comes by it.”, Yoda teased.   
  


“Jinn likely has fathered an entire generation of Jedi.”, Windu confessed, looking like he aged ten years in that moment. 

Yoda giggled.

The Force swelled with happiness and warmth. It danced, and Yoda knew they made the right choice. Obi-Wan Kenobi is happier and healthier than he’s been in a long time. Their beloved Child of the Light is rooted in goodness and happiness, and the Force is pleased.


	18. Chapter 18

Goodbyes are always the hardest part for Obi-Wan. If he’s honest, he still had separation anxiety, perhaps Kenobi always has. Ever since that fateful moment, Jinn first refused to be his Master and he was nearly send to the AgriCorps.  
  


“Do I have to go, Baba?”, Korkie asked with a pout on his lips as they awaited The Cornet to arrive and escort the young man home. 

“I am needed by the 212th. You must return to your schooling. It is our duty, dear one.”

“I’d rather you come home to Mom and I.”

”Someday, Korkie, when the war is won.”

“Then why can’t I go with you?”, Korkie demanded.   
  


“The battle field is not a safe place for children.”  
  


”Ashoka wasn’t much older than me when she became a _Commander_.”

Obi-Wan shatters internally, his shoulders tense. Speaking as a former child solider, it devastated him to see _his_ young Padawans on the war front. This is not the life he wanted for _them_. 

“You know how dangerous it would be for your mother and I if you were captured. Mandalore is where you must be.”

”Mandalore isn’t any safer than the war front, Baba.”

“That’s exactly why you must go home.”

”I’d rather our family be together. It’s not fair Anakin and Ashoka get to be with you!”

“I have a special mission for you, little one. You must keep your mother safe. Make her laugh. Make her smile. She needs you, my brave heart.”

”Be safe, please Baba. Come home to us.“, tears pooled in Korkie’s eyes. 

The Jedi Master hugged his son tightly. He didn’t want to let go, neither of them did. He pulled from his utility belt, the light saber Korkie and Obi-Wan had crafted together.

The Force deemed the young man a fine warrior and he claimed a purple kyber crystal after a weekend facing the caverns of the snow mountainside planet where all Jedi were tested for the first time.   
  
  


“This lightsaber is your life. Take care of it, and it will take care of you.”, Obi-Wan beamed with pride. He pressed a kiss against Korkie’s forehead.

”May the Force be with you.”, Korkie bowed respectfully.   
  


“And with you.”

Obi-Wan watched as Windu and his feet prepare to leave. They’ll relieve Master Plo of his post at Mandalore. Then Koon, Kenobi and Skywalker will return to the front. As the Cornet lands, and the ramp extends to the ground, Kenobi presses a final kiss against Korkie’s forehead.

Commander Wolffe and Bo-Katan greet the father-son duo.   
  


“General Kenobi, we’re here to transport Marquess Kryze-Kenobi back to Mandalore.”, the Commander Wolffe announced.

It was not lost on either the father or son to hear the addition of Obi-Wan’s surname to Korkie’s title. Bo-Katan rolled her eyes looking smug.   
  


”Of course. May the Force Be With You, Commander.”, Kenobi offers a polite bow, and smiles when Wolffe returns it. 

Wolffe wraps an arm around Korkie’s shoulder and guides him to the Cornet. Bo-Katan wishes to speak to her brother in law. The commander departs them with a sigh on his lips.

”You got her pregnant, you _bastard_.”, Bo-Katan is pissed. 

“It typically takes two people.“

”If you hurt my sister, I will kick your ass Kenobi.”

  
“I think you’d have to take a number and get in line, but understood.”, his eyes shine with equal amusement and seriousness.   
  
  
  


“Touché.”

“How is Satine?”, Obi-Wan inquires.   
  


“Miserably ill. She always had horrible morning sickness with Korkie. She misses you.”  
  
  


“Here. Give this to her.”, Obi-Wan pulls a tin of ginger tea out of his messenger bag with a note

”Don’t leave her _again_.It would devastate her and the boy.”, Bo sighed.   
  


  
“I’m rather serious about my commitment to her.”, Obi-Wan pulled a velvet box out of his robe pocket.   
  


Bo-Katan gasped, “Ben Kenobi. _You. Did. Not._ You’ve been walking around with a wedding ring for how long?! _”  
_

She admired the simple silver band with its elegant, blue Saphire diamond. She could imagine this ring on her sister’s beautiful long artistic fingers.   
  


“I will ask her to marry me officially. No more whispered promises or clandestine kinship marriage. But a public acknowledgement of our relationship.”   
  


“You aren’t marrying because of the baby, right?”

”I want to her _partner_ , Bo.”  
  


“You idiot Jetti, if you get killed you better walk it the fuck off or I’ll hunt you down myself and kill you again.”

“I’d hand you the weapon myself.”

Bo-Katan and Obi-Wan encircle one another, locked in one of their stare downs. Satisfied, she leaves him and murder structs back to the Cornet. Obi-Wan sighs, he lingers until Windu’s fleet and the Cornet are no longer visible. 

* * *

Kenobi meets Tano and Skywalker for their evening departure from the Temple. His shields are pulled tight as the Jedi Master tries to conceal his feeling. He’s anxious about his separation from Korkie. He worries about Satine and their unborn child. Even the ring in his pocket feels heavy.  
  
  
Anakin did know about Satine’s pregnancy. Ashoka did not. Selfishly, the Jedi Master almost feels a measure of relief knowing Anakin is likely struggling just as much as he is with the prospect of being away from their pregnant partners. 

  
Instinctively, Anakin reaches out to Obi-Wan through their bond. He doesn’t probe or ask questions, just reassures his master. _You aren’t alone._   
  


Obi-Wan steadies himself, putting on his _General Kenobi_ mask _._ He holds his head high, shoulders back as he marched into the _Negotiator._ The Force dances around her beloved child of the Light. He’s glowing, health and strong in a way he hasn’t been since his Senior Padawan years.   
  


There were quiet, murmurs, “Here he is comes. Here comes the _General_.” Kenobi was quite aware the affect he had on the company as he confidently struted up the ramp. _Vod_ , _here comes the General. The pride of the Jedi Order, Obi-Wan Kenobi._  
  


The 212th quiets in his presence, coming to a parade rest and saluting their General. Cody gives him a crisp, respectful salute. He has greatly missed Kenobi, all of the men have.

  
  
“Status report, Commander.”

”We are ready for departure, Sir.”, Cody meets his General’s eyes.

“At ease, Commander, men. Begin pre-flight protocol.”, Kenobi conceals his eager smile. He had missed the entire 212th, and Cody especially.   
  


  
General Kenobi comes to a stop, holding himself proud, confident, a warrior. A man whose fought two wars, and commands respect. 

They need a rousing speech, reassurance from their General whose been away far longer than he wished.   
  


“We are outgunned, outmanned, outnumbered and outplanned. We’ve got make an all outstand.”, Kenobi gave them a smoldering look.

The vod shudder at his words. Change is coming. And General Kenobi means businesses. This damn war is gonna end because he’s stubborn as fuck. They’ve got about six and half months to turn the tide.   
  


To see General Kenobi health, strong, focused is truly something to behold. The Force tembles, changing is coming, and her chosen ones will bring balance to the Force. 

Once the men are dismissed, Cody and Obi-Wan step into his office.   
  


  
“Permission to speak freely, General.”

  
  


“Granted. But when we’re in my office, it’s just _Ben_ , okay?”

“I missed you, _Ben_.”, the Commander sighed. The name sounds weird on his tongue, yet it feels right.   
  
  


“And I missed you, Cody. Your presence has often brought me comfort.”

“It’s so good to see you in one piece.”

”Oh, Cody. I’m sorry for neglecting myself.”

”Forgiven. You can pay me back by making it home alive to Satine.”  
  


They share a hug. Brothers in arms. Two soldiers. Just Ben and Cody. General and Commander. Cody shudders in Obi-Wan firm grasp. He didn’t realize how badly he needed to know his General, his _friend_ was okay.


	19. Chapter 19

The 501st, 104th, and 212th made temendous progress in the Outer Rim. Kenobi oversaw their strategy and his wisdom led to some victories. In the evenings, he spoke to his family and it brought him some comfort.Even mission after mission, Kenobi found his family grounded him. The Jedi Master shared more of himself with Anakin and Ahsoka. He leaned on Cody. Obi-Wan confided in Plo, sharing the burdens of leading with the elder Master.

The Kenobi-Kyyzes made it six weeks without incident. A hologram arrived from Korkie. Satine has been hospitalized. After a long day on the battlefield, Cody intercepted the message by chance. He knew the General would want to be at her side, but would be hesitant to ask for leave from the war front. The Commander contacted the Council and arranged for a short visit.  
  


Cody found Obi-Wan in the medbay nursing a broken orbital socket and possible a concession.Doc was looking him over, a sign of how badly he felt if he voluntarily went to his medic.   
  


“General?”

”Hello, Commander.”  
  


”You look like shit, sir.”

”Ugh. It looks worse than it feels.”

”You are needed on Mandalore.”

”Is something wrong?”

”Satine is hospitalized.”

”I-I can’t leave.”

”I’ve already cleared it with the Council.” Cody hands his General a datapad with the authorization.

”Thank you, Cody.”

”Take Doc with you. You’ll need someone to look after your head injury. See ya in a few weeks.”, Cody smiled softly.

Obi-Wan accepted the data pad and go-bag. He bowed respectfully, and took off in the direction of the small ship that would take them to Mandalore.

* * *

It was a four day journey through hyper space. They arrived in Mandalore early in the morning. Doc and Obi-Wan cleared their landing with Mandalorian air space.   
  


Obi-Wan’s injuries were healing. His left eye still looked awfully bruised and irritated. His head ached, and he required more sleep. Doc kept a close eye on him.

Once they landed, Obi-Wan was escorted to the hospital in the center of the city. The city’s residents and press kept vigil around the hospital, wanting an update on Satine’s condition.

  
Kenobi went directly to the maternity ward, and checked in with a nurse. They directed him to Satine’s room, but first he stopped in the waiting room to check in with Bo-Karan.   
  


Bo-Katan sat with a book in her hand, “You came.” She seemed surprised to see Kenobi.

”I meant what I said.”

”Sit. You look awful.”

Obi-Wan takes a seat across from Bo-Katan and accepts the cup of water. He must look terrible if she’s moved to compassion.

“Tell me everything.”

“She and the babies had a tough week. Extreme morning sickness and dehydration.”

”Poor thing.”, Obi-Wan sighed. Then his concussed brain processed her words, “Wait. Babies as in more than one?”

”Twins. She didn’t tell you?”

”No. She did not.”, Obi-Wan paled. He looked like he might pass out.   
  


“She found at her first ultrasound at 10 weeks.”

  
“Oh, my. How’s she doing _really_ , Bo?”

“Exhausted, and sick. The nausea is a bitch. She’s tough as nails, and loosing her edge, Ben.”  
  


”Anything I should know?”

”She loves sucking on hard candy, Satine likes her ginger ale at room temp and lime jello makes her gag.”

”Thank you. I am in your debt.”

  
“Go cheer her up, lover boy.” Bo-Katan rolls her eyes.

Obi-Wan picks up several packs of lifesavers, a magazine, and a crossword puzzle from the gift shop before heading to Satine’s room. 

He didn’t like how pale and exhausted she looked. She had an IV and was receiving fluids. Satine wore a blue floral gown and matching robe. The Duchess looked frail, and poorly. 

  
It was surreal to see the small rounded bump covered by the light hospital blanket. She was fifteen weeks along, and now in the early second trimester. He itched to put his hand on her expanding middle.  
  


“Hello, Obi-love.”, Satine smiled softly.

”Hi, darling.”, Obi-Wan softens. He wants to hold her close, and feel their babies growing beneath her skin.   
  
  
  


“I missed you.”

“Me too.”, he smiled softly adding, “I come with a gift.” Obi-Wan handed the bag to her.

Satine hummed with approval as she looked through the candy, magazine and crossword puzzle, “Thank you.”

”Can I get anything for you?”

“Take your shoes off and come here.”, Satine commanded. 

“Yes, m’lady.”  
  


Obi-Wan toed his boots off, set his cloak aside and removed his outer tunic. He was dressed in his trousers and a light undershirt. He did as she asked, gingerly crawling into bed, and molding his body around her. 

  
She guided his hands to her small basketball sized bump. Obi-Wan gasped, feeling the warmth and Force presence of the little ones.   
  
  


“Would you like to know their gender?”, Satine asked softly.

”You know already?”

”Yes, I found out via blood test.”

“I’d like to know.”, Obi-Wan smiles softly.

”Two girls.”

”Oh. Baby girls! I’m delighted.”

”Korkie is going to be outnumbered.”

”Not for long. We’ll have a whole baseball team”, Obi-Wan gave her a wolfish grin.

”You are incorrigible.”, Satine laughs.

“Hi babies. I’m your Baba.”, Kenobi’s eyes were teary. He looked so damn happy.   
  


“We’re glad you’re home, Ben.”, Satine pressed a kiss against his forehead.

  
Obi-Wan stayed passed visiting hours, convincing the nurses to let him stay. Satine spent another day in the hospital until her nausea was under control before they discharged her.   
  


It was a relief for Kenobi to go home with Satine. The order gave him a week and half to spend with his family on Mandalore. He planned on treasuring every moment with Satine and Korkie.


	20. Chapter 20

A week with Satine and Korkie is an immeasurable gift. He dotes on the life of his life, massaging her feet, holding her hair when she throws up, and feels the strong, bright Force presence of their unborn children when he puts his hand on her stomach. He carries her to bed, and takes her on walks in the garden. 

  
Obi-Wan is thrilled to just lay around in bed with Satine. The doctor prescribed light activity and modified bed rest for Satine while she gets her strength back. The anti-nausea meds help some, but her appetite is still lacking.   
  


The constant nausea and frequently vomiting make everything harder: hydration, weight gain, and diet. But Satine is stubborn and determined to keep these babies growing. She tolerates the meal plan the Doctor recommended, even dinking the calorie boosting smoothies.

  
Satine has never seen Obi-Wan so happy before. He practically light up the galaxy when the expecting father saw the twins on ultrasound for the first time. Given her high risk pregnancy, Satine has regularly check ins with the doctor and an ultrasound.   
  


He carried around his copies of the sonogram with pride, “Those are my girls.” The palace staff were endeared by his open affection and doting.  
  


Obi-Wan talks to the girls all the time, resting his hand on Satine’s middle as often as she allowed. He was practically glued to her side.

Satine is even pleased to find the expecting father to begin working on the nursery. He knows it’s awful early, but Obi-Wan isn’t sure when he’ll have shore leave again. Her Jetti makes valuable use of the time they have together.

He consults her on paint swatches, decor, and cribs but leaves much of the room a surprise. Obi-Wan wants to do this for his daughters. And it takes Satine’s breath away to see him like this.

For a moment, the Duchess images what their life could’ve been. Obi-Wan gives Satine and Korkie his time while he’s in Mandalore, taking family meals together.   
  


Obi-Wan trains Korkie in the royal gardens, guiding his light saber training as he works through a new kata. They mediate together, spare, and play chess.   
  


Korkie is such a sharp kid, and Obi-Wan finds him a worthy debate partner as they discuss philosophy. He’ll be a fine politician, lawyer or solider someday, Kenobi thinks.

* * *

  
On their fifth day together, he makes a decision, the ring still burning a hole in his pocket. Obi-Wan doesn’t know when he’ll get the chance again. There is a sense of urgency about asking Satine to marry him officially.

Their little family agrees to having an afternoon picnic on the beach. Obi-Wan carried Satine onto the sand, helping to sit up her blanket and umbrella. He pressed a kiss to her cheek, “Rest, my love.”

She watched happily as Obi-Wan stripped off his t-shirt, admiring his lithe muscular body. The Duchess traces the light scar of his recent heart procedures, pressing a kiss along his skin. She helps him lathe sunscreen on his delicate, pale freckled skin.   
  


Obi-Wan squeezes her hand before running off to play catch with Korkie. Satire watches them interact with a smile glued to her face.   
  


Obi-Wan laughs teasing Korkie as they toss the football back and forth. He catches Korkie at one point, and tosses him into the water. Korkie smirks, before splashing his father. They’re giggling like children. 

  
Satine shakes her hand with fond affection, “Silly boys.” She continue to read her book, resting a hand on her stomach as the boys played in the water.   
  


Once Obi-Wan and Korkie were tired, they joined Satine under the umbrella for lunch. Despite the sunscreen, Obi-Wan’s skin looked a little toasty. He would return the the war front sunburned despite the sunscreen. 

  
“I packed us a lunch.”, Obi-Wan announced conspiratorially. 

“Go on.”, Satine smiled.

”I packed our favorite treat. Space Pepsi and moon pies.”  
  


“I adore you.”

”Sandwiches. Chips. Fruit. Pickles too.”, Obi-Wan smiled.   
  


The little family dug unto lunch. Satine ate well, she especially liked the pickles and moon pies. They told Korkie stories of their days on the run, of Qui-Gon, of Satine’s pregnancy, of Obi-Wan Padawan days.

Once everyone had eaten, Kenobi pulled the velvet ring box out of the picnic basket and took a centering breath. His heart raced nervously as he took his shot.   
  


“Darling, I must ask you something rather important.” 

“Of course, my Obi-Love.”

Obi-Wan carefully moved to bend down on one knee. She gasped softly, anticipation. Kenobi steadied himself as he took Satine’s hand, and made eye contact. 

He presented the opened ring box, “Satine Elizabeth Kyrze, you are the love of my life, the mother of my children, my equal, and life partner. I have loved you every day since we were eighteen. Would you honor me by becoming my wife?” 

  
“Oh, _Ben._ A thousand times yes. _”,_ tears shone in her eyes.

  
He kissed her hand, gently putting the ring on her ring finger. Satine beamed seeing his own matching band. They shared a chaste kiss. Korkie cheered them on.   
  


“We’re going to be a family now?”, he asked shyly.   
  


“Yes, we are, my brave heart.”, Obi-Wan beamed kissing his son’s forehead.

He laughed as Korkie hugged him. They elected to sit on either side of Satine. She smiled as her boys held her, resting her head on Obi-Wan’s shoulder. Their fingers intertwined on her stomach.

Kenobi’s last few days on Mandalore were busy. He visited the tailor to his clothes to be fitted for their engagement photo shoot. It was the first time the Kenobi-Kyrze clan would have a royal portrait taken. Another would be taken when the twins were blessed.   
  


Obi-Wan finished the mural in the nursery: a gorgeous painting of the Mandalorian night sky adore with matching grey cribs and woven purple Stewjon baby blankets draped on the rails. He chose a variety of children’s books and wooden toys.   
  


He was pleased to have the dresser, cribs, rocking chair and bookshelf together. There would be blank spaces for them to fill, and a closet to stock. But Satine adored the room, finding all sorts of surprises Obi-Wan left for her to discover.

Obi-Wan was relieved when Satine’s pregnancy was publicly announced. The couple and Korkie were photographed in the Royal Gardens announcing their engagement and the impending birth of twin girls, Quinn and Elizabeth Kenobi-Kyrze. 

They called Ashoka, and Anakin over the holocall to share their news before the public announcement went out. Korkie, Ashoka and Anakin were thrilled about the twins.   
  


Obi-Wan spent his final evening on leave with Satine in their quarters. He wanted to hold her close, pressing kisses against her skin and mapping out her changing body. She granted him his wish, just laying with him. 

He was enraptured by her beauty and strength always, but especially as her body grew their babies. He had missed out with Korkie, and planned to make up for it.   
  


When Obi-Wan left for the front, he was hesitant to part ways. Selfishly, he wanted to stay with Satine but knew he had duties else where. She pressed a framed photograph in his hands, “We’re always with you, darling.”   
  


“Of course, Satine. I will treasure this. Thank you.”   
  


Satine hugged him, giving him a steadying kiss, murming affection and promises into his ear. He pulled away slowly, then squeezed her hand before taking his leave and boarding the ship.

Obi-Wan never took his eyes off her until he could no longer see her. The ring on his finger, the sonogram in his breast pocket and the photograph in his lap reminded him he was fighting for them, for the galaxy’s fate. He was determined to return home to them in one piece. 


	21. Chapter 21

When Obi-Wan returned to the war front after his week with Satine. He seemed centered, focused. He was at the top of his game, happier and calmer than he’d been in months. He showed anyone who asked the sonogram of Quinn and Elizabeth.

He looked sunburnt and more relaxed, all around a good sign for their Jedi General who rarely put himself first. Cody knew he made the right choice securing leave for Kenobi.   
  


  
Upon Obi-Wan’s return, They fought a series of tough battles against Dooku and the Seppies. At first, it felt like they were turning the tide win after win with little to no casualties.   
  


For nearly three months they seemed to have the upper hand. The seppies turned their ships around and ran more times than not. As things typically went in the Clone Wars, everything shifted on its axis and went FUBAR.

Kenobi pushed his troops through the wet marsh lands of Adobe for a ground assault. The Jedi Master went ahead of them about fifty clicks. Out of the corner of his eye, Cody saw it happen.   
  


Obi-Wan’s eyes widened as his pacemaker shocked his chest. He wheezed, holding his chest as he collapsed. 

  
Cody closed his eyes, trying not to throw up as he listened to Kenobi’s struggling breath. He called for a medic evac, and tried to get close enough to his General to help.

”Hold on, sir. Doc and Kix are on the way.”, Cody whispered, bracing Kenobi’s head and neck.   
  


  
“It hurts, Cody.”, Kenobi whispered. 

“Look at me. We’re going to get you out of here.”

Obi-Wan held his hand on his gut concealing a badly bleeding wound from where a blaster got him.   
  


“Oh, I’m bleeding.”

”Shit.”, Cody squawked trying to put pressure on the wound.   
  


He held his hand tight, trying to stop the bleeding until Doc and Kix arrived. Cody could feel Kenobi’s erratic, irregular heartbeat against his armor.   
  


He didn’t let go of his general until Kix and Doc arrived. They braced his neck and spine before lifting Obi-Wan onto the holostretcher.   
  


Kix tended to the gut wound while Doc stabilized Obi-Wan’s oxygen. He was rushed back to the Negotiator for emergency surgery.

It was touch and go for about an hour. The bullet in Kenobi’s gut exited near his spinal cord. Obi-Wan had lost some sensation in his lower limbs, but it wasn’t know how permanent yet.   
  


After four hours on the operation room, the medics droids had not only treated the gun shot wound but adjusted the pacemaker lead that had been broken.   
  
  


Doc oversaw Kenobi’s transfer to post-op making sure he was as comfortable as possible. Cody called Satine himself to update her, and Anakin took residence at Obi-Wan’s bedside as soon as the fighting finished.   
  


Obi-Wan looked pale and sickly from the blood loss. His heart rate was steady and predictable once the pacemaker was readjusted. He seemed to having a ongoing cardiac episode, which concerned Doc.   
  


His eyes were closed, his breathing slightly labored as he rested. The anesthesia has yet to wear off. Even now, Anakin couldn’t get off how troubled and tired his Master looked.

He could see every line of stress and weariness on Kenobi’s face, the patches of grey in his auburn hair and beard. This war made Obi-Wan age years, he was too young for grey hairs and heart attacks.  


Anakin held his hand, noticing the lines of his discomfort on his Master’s face. It took an awful lot of pain medicine to give him restful sleep.

“Hey come back to me, old man. We need you.”, Anakin’s voice crackled as laid Kenobi’s special affects on the wooden hospital tray: the sonogram, a picture of Satine and Korkie, the black river rock Qui-Gon gave him and the silver compass Anakin and Ashoka gave him for Father’s Day.   
  


  
“Anakin?”, Ashoka called from the doorway.   
  


“Oh good, you brought his blanket.”, Anakin wiped his face trying to hid the tears.   
  


“We can’t have Master Obi-Wan waking up cold can we?”, Ashoka covered Obi-Wan up with his favorite fuzzy blanket from his quarters.

”And the bear.”, Anakin laughed.   
  


“You can’t forget the teddy bear.”

”He’ll probably grip about it.”

”Too bad, he had another heart procedure.”

They both cracked up thinking about Obi-Wan holding the bear right to his chest and squeezing him when he sneezes.

Ashoka takes a seat beside Anakin as they wait for Obi-Wan to wake up again. It’ll be a long evening but they’re not going to leave his side 


End file.
